


Player 1 online

by scorpiusismypatronus



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Innuendo, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Texting, chat fic, dsjhfjkhxj, how did this happen, i needed to write something and this happened, probably more to be up, this used to be a fanfic but now it's me ranting about my problems, uhhhhh, whats a hetero ive not met one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-02-17 12:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 28,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13076955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiusismypatronus/pseuds/scorpiusismypatronus
Summary: the bmc kids are gay and sad and they have a group chat. also no one hates each other





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Nik i'm 15 and i project my problems onto fictional characters read my chat fic

_Michael: player 1_

_Jeremy: jheere // jeremy_

_Chloe: piiiinkberryyyy // C_

_Brooke: lesbiabs_

_Jenna: Jenna_

_Jake: imsixfootseven // Slushies_

_Rich: imfivefootone // Rich_

_Christine: adhdrama_

_Dustin: theyseemeDustin //. Dustin_

 

[Player 1 started a group chat]

[Members: player 1, jheere, piiiinkberryyyy, lesbiabs, Jenna, imsixfootseven, imfivefootone, and adhdrama]

[Player 1 renamed the chat: uwuuuuu]

 

Adhdrama: hey!

Piiiinkberryyyy: hey christine!

Player 1: y’allllllll

Jheere: anyone here want memes

Jenna: i’m made of memes

imsixfootseven: pfft no I am

imfivefootone: okay jake you know what? ????? I am

jheere: rich please

Player 1: let’s all be nice

Lesbiabs: hey michael you know what? No

Player 1: chloe please

Lesbiabs: NO

Player 1: :(

Adhdrama: Brooke be nice!!

Jenna: im sorry Michael. She's usually pretty nice

Piiiinkberryyyy: yeah in bed

Lesbiabs: CHLOE

Adhdrama: C H L O E

Player 1: C. H. L.O. E. 

Jheere: OH MY GOD

Jenna: CHLOE U CAN’T DO THAT

Imfivefootone: no thanks!

Imsixfootseven: a b s o l u t e l yn o t

Piiiinkberryyyy: what???

Lesbiabs: I mean thanks but

Lesbiabs: Chloe, We Don’t Talk About Our Sex Life In A Group Chat

Player 1: “our”

Adhdrama: JHSFXGHDKJXHDF

Imsixfootseven: brb im gonna go cry

Piiiinkberryyyy: you know what this is lesbophobia I'm sueing

Adhdrama: chloe you’re bi

Piiiinkberryyyy: THIS IS LESBOPHOBIA I’M SUEING

Adhdrama: chloe I'm bi

Piiiinkberryyyy: christine we know

Jheere: me too wtf

Adhdrama: goddamnit Jeremy you steal my heart first and then my sexuality??? What kind of bullshit,

Jheere: wow I cant believe I stole christine’s sexuality

Player 1: my player 2 just stole christine’s sexuality

Lesbiabs: did u just call Jeremy your player 2 michael bc thats rly cute

[imfivefootone renamed the group chat ‘JEREMY IS MICHAEL’S PLAYER 2’]

Imfivefootone: gay

Imsixfootseven: shut up short-ass

Imfivefootone: rude :( trying my best down here

Adhdrama: Jake don't be mean :( it’s ok Rich I'm only 5’2”

Imfivefootone: ONLY?!?!?!?!?!?

Adhdrama: sorry?

Imfivefootone: IM FUCKGIN

Imfivefootone: 

Imfivefootone: READ MY NAME

Lesbiabs: what do u want me to do about it

Jenna: she’s got a point??????????

Imfivefootone: come down here and fight me.

Jenna: I’M SORRY? I COULDN’T HEAR YOU?

Player 1: did y’all know I'm gay?

Jheere: yes michael, we know. You’re so gay for Starstripe, we know. You aren’t telling your gd mystery crush, we KNOW

Jheere: ily tho

Player 1: JHFKJSDHFKJCH DON’T CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS

Piiiinkberryyyy: will u tell me ur secret crush

Player 1: no

 

Piiiinkberryyyy to Player 1: henlo yes whom is this mystery boy

Player 2: chloe i can’t tell u? Nice try? Maybe later tho

Piiiinkberryyyy: gdamnit

 

[Piiiinkberryyyy has changed their name to C]

 

C to JEREMY IS MICHAEL’S PLAYER 2

C: so Starstripe

Imfivefootone: is that a play on the stars and stripes???

Player 1: no it’s just stars. And also stripes. Unfortunately associated with am*rica

Jenna: did u just censor America?

Imsixfootseven: Michael you can’t just censor america

Player 1: EW GET THAT WORD OFF MY HOLY JEWISH TELEPHONE

Player 1: it’s funny cause I'm jewish

Adhdrama: my wifi is terrible also I love??????????slushies

Imsixfootseven: sAME WHAT THE HELL

[imsixfootseven changed their name to slushies]

Adhdrama: nice

Slushies: thanks

Adhdrama: you're welcome

Player 1: hi I'm michael I'm 15 and even tho I know being gay isn’t bad & my parents support me I still deal with a lot of internalized homophobia so if someone would validate me that would be great

[7 people are typing]

Jheere: bruh talk to me about ur feelings I'm not str8

Adhdrama: hi im christine i'm 16 and I'd like to tell u that it’s not bad or wrong or dirty to be gay! [dead_gay_son_heathers.mp4]

C: hi I'm Chloe I'm an almost lesbian and !!!!!!!!! I feel that!!!!! So hard!!!!! But dude it gets better. I'm 17 now and I

C: shit was bouta get deep text cancelled

C: ur not bad for being gay end of story

Slushies: dude fun fact: my mom was one of those shitty hardcore christians (u know the ones) & said that kinda thing all the time. That didn’t stop me from getting my dick sucked by a dude. Doesn’t have to stop you either :)

Slushies: unless you prefer being the sucker and not the suckee?

Jenna: vhoom my parents are really accepting but!! If u need to vent to someone!! I'm here. Also ur pretty no hetero

Lesbiabs: okay Michael I try not to be the girl who tells her whole life story in the gc but!! I'm a lesbian & polyam and my parents are dicks about it but u know what? I'm a chick and girls are hot so just hang in there okay? U’ll be okay w/ it one day and it'll all be worth it and you and Starstripe (is that a play on starstruck then??????bc nice) will be cuddling on the couch with a dog & it’ll all be so good

Imfivefootone: did homophobia stop me from sucking Jake’s dick? No? It shouldn’t stop you from it either

Imfivefootone: not Jake’s tho I mean dakj,zhkvjdfjxvsdklzjfclks

Imfivefootone: WAIT FUCK I MEAN

Imfivefootone: NEVERMIND TEXT CANCELLED

Player 1: ….this was not what I expected?

Slushies: RICHARD GORANSKI KDFJGHJKHXKJVHC

Imfivefootone: hkjhrjkshgkjshLSDJHFKX SORRY BABE

Slushies: it’s chill bro <3

Adhdrama: idk what exactly just happened but I'm here for it

Player 1: @lesbiabs yes it is

Lesbiabs: I KNEW IT

Slushies: I sucked Rich’s dick

Jenna: but can any of us blame you

Rich: it's funny cause I'm trans

Player 1: wait b

Player 1: never mind

Jheere: check ur PMs Michael lemma explain this

 

Jheere to Player 1

Jheere: they're using ‘dick sucking’ as a euphemism for sex in general

Player 1: um

 

Player 1 to JEREMY IS MICHAEL’S PLAYER 2

Player 1: anyway um fuck Jeremy

Player 1: I mean don't actually fuck him I mean

Player 1: fuck nvm

[Imfivefootone changed their name to oops]

Oops: I fucking feel u dude

Oops: not that way

[oops changed their name to Rich]

Rich: just fucking ignore me I'm a mess

Player 1: are u high

Rich: no

Player 1: why not

Rich: connor was out sick today thAT’S WHY

Player 1: and Dustin?

Rich: in-school detention

[Rich has added theyseemeDustin to the chat]

Rich: get in loser

theyseemeDustin: they hatin’

theyseemeDustin: thats what happens when you're high

theyseemeDustin: im sober

theyseemeDustin: sorry hi it’s dustin who's in here

Jenna: tis me jenna rolan

Adhdrama: it’s christine! :)

Player 1: michael mell and I'm fucking not high

Jheere: Jeremy heere and I fucking wish I was

Lesbiabs: im brooke I love girls

C: im Chloe i love my gfs

insixfootseven: yo it’s Jake Dillinger

Rich: it’s me Rich I added u also dude I want w33d

theyseemeDustin: no I'm a good child

Rich: dzkhfksjdzhfcszjkh

Rich: dude go read back a bit in the chat I fucked up

Adhdrama: rich oh my god it’s like u want him to know??????????

Player 1: are y’all ever pining?????

Adhdrama: yeah all the time why

Player 1: whom

Adhdrama: Obama

Adhdrama: I miss having a good prez

Player 1: god me too

theyseemeDustin: rich

theyseemeDustin: oh my god

Rich: gdszxjhfkjcsh

theyseemeDustin: @michael and christine yeAH MOOB

Rich: moob

Lesbiabs: moob

Adhdrama: moob

theyseemeDustin: m o o b

C: I wanna heckin die lads

Lesbiabs: you ok?

C: no I have bipolar

Adhdrama: jHDKSJHFKJDS

Player 1: yeah bIG MOOD CHLOE BIG MOOD

theyseemeDustin: BMOOD

Player 1: BOOD

theyseemeDustin: BOOB

theyseemeDustin: wait—

Jheere: JKHFDXFHAJHKLKKJ I LEAVE THE CHAT FOR A FEW MINUTES AND

Jheere: I've never seen a bigger mood in my life

theyseemeDustin: B O O B

Lesbiabs: shit u rite Dustin

Player 1: starstripe won’ like me back but it’s chill lmao

Player 1: no one will ever like me back but it’s chill lmao

Player 1: no one will ever like me in general but it's chill lmao

Player 1: fuck I'm gonna die alone fuck fuck fuck

Player 1: lmao

Rich: u okay

Player 1: I hVE anxiety

[JHeere changed their name to Jeremy]

Jeremy: same

Jeremy: need anything tho bro

Player 1: nah bro I jdut need ro clam down it’s fime

Adhdrama: michael dude are u okay

Player 1: fuckfuckfukcfuckfcykfykcfycktyfjtgyfjjtjfyjfcfyfjcjyfjcfyfjcvh

Player 1: nononononflkvhdfkjlxhvjesxFUCK

Adhdrama: bro it’s okay deep breaths count to ten ground urself

Adhdrama: splash water on your face

Adhdrama: feel things around you okay?

Adhdrama: it’s a panic attack and it sucks but it’ll pass okay

Player 1: mot neaf wster sorry imsorry im so fsorry ifuskked up imsorry

Adhdrama: michael whats something that calms you down???

Player 1: fuckighn,,,,jeremy

Jeremy: bro

Jeremy: breathe okay?? You gotta breathe in and out

Player 1: igcnat breathee

Jeremy: just try okay? And focus on something. Just look at it okay? Where are you?

Player 1: my ,room

Jeremy: okay you know that lego thing u made when u were nine that's still on your bookshelf?

Player 1: yeah

Jeremy: can u just look at it? Notice the colours

Jeremy: and if you’re on your bed focus on the blankets alright? I know the exact stupid apocalypse of the damned blankets and they’re fluffy and cold you love them, focus on that.

Jeremy: and even if this secret Starstripe person doesn't like u back??? Bro I'm here for u & there are lots of people. And bro you’re gna find something/someone I promise

Adhdrama: this is my fULT IM SORRy

C: chris no offense but how the fuck is this your fault

Adhdrama: I brought up pining

Player 1: ist not your fdault

Player 1: not anyones fualt jjust mine

Jeremy: michael are you breathing? And looking? You gotta focus w/ your eyes on smth so u don’t dissociate

Player 1: breathighn a little better but fudhoixvhjkxfhc ya feell

Jeremy: I feel

Jeremy: can u get urself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face?

Player 1: yeah

Jeremy: don’t trip lmao

Player 1: got there ar u proud

Jeremy: actually yes!

Jeremy: now water.

Jeremy: wld it help if I came over?

Player 1: I dnt want to be a burned on u

Player 1: burden*

Jeremy: you're not

Jeremy: so can I come over? I’m at subway rn if I drive I can be there in 7m

Player 1: okay

Player 1: Cchristine can u text me wwhile he drives

Adhdrama: yes of course

Adhdrama: you like Marley, right?

Adhdrama: does music help u calm down?

Player 1: yeah

Adhdrama: okay play some alright?

Player 1: okay I love this song

Adhdrama: can u tell me why?

Player 1: the lyrics

Adhdrama: michael stay on the phone okay?? 

Adhdrama: anxiety

Adhdrama: what’s smth else that calms u down? (I feel like shit for not knowing this already sorry)

Player 1: (not ur fault u lil hheck) I like slushies

Slushies: slushies are actually really good for panic attacks! cold drinks such as slushies provide a distraction and can also help with derealization/dissociation, because the coldness of it brings you back to reality

Player 1: nerd

Slushies: I aim to please

Rich: ;)

Rich: that probably was bad timing sorry Michael

Player 1: nah it’s ok I needed a laugh

Adhdrama: any cold drinks hanging around? Mtn dew red maybe?

Player 1: yeah I'll go chug it

Adhdrama: michael don’T CHUG IT JUST DRINK IT SLOWLy

Player 1: [mechuggingmtd.jpg]

Adhdrama: love u xx

Player 1: love u too xx

C: ew emotion

Lesbiabs: not what you’re saying when w

Lesbiabs: y’know what? message cancelled

[theyseemeDustin has changed their name to Dustin]

Dustin: what were u gonna say

Lesbiabs: ;)

Dustin: unrelated but hey guys did u know i’m heckin gay?

Player 1: you guys r great

Player 1: also Jere’s here so I don't care anymore bye

Adhdrama: honestly mood

C: gay @michael

Lesbiabs: I think he knows

Rich: I'm dying to know who Starstripe is

Slushies: tbh I have a guess but since I'm not a dick I won’t say it here

Dustin: guys do u think the hulk's dick is super big too? Like is it proportionate? Or does he have a 2 inch dick

Rich: fuckign go to sleep Dustin

Dustin:…yes daddy

Slushies: KJSHXGIVEDONKLDH

Rich: KHVDFUV YSDVJDFCXJVNXC,KV NX

Rich: THIS IS WHY U FONT TELL DUSTIN TO DO THINGS

C: oh my god

Lesbiabs: JKHVKHSFSJKDHFJHDJFHJH

Jenna: I NEED TO WASH MY EYES OUT WITH BL E A C H

Rich: lifE CANCELLED BYE 

Dustin: ;)

Slushies: ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP PUNK U BETTER NOT BE HITTIN ON MY BF RIGHT THERE

Dustin: did u just call me punk bc jake look you’re 6 inches taller than me but I'd beat your ass

Slushies:…daddy

Dustin: fUCK

Rich: SDJKHFJKSHDFJHC

Slushies: ;)

Rich: YOURE FUCKING DIVORCED JAKE BYE

Slushies: bye daddy

Lesbiabs: im an innocent wlw i don't deserve this

Adhdrama: how do I leave the groupchAT

C: death is the only option

Rich: she’s got a fucking point

[Rich changed the group chat title to ‘d*ddy’]

Slushies: fjghvdkjfxhcvkjhdxcjkvlhdfkjxcvlkjdxc

Adhdrama: STOP THAt

Player 1: I leave the chat for 20 minutes…

Player 1: rich? jake? dustin? 

Player 1: quick question

Player 1: what the ever loving fuck

Dustin: jfshdzfhjkvHKJFHXCKJVHDFKV

Dustin: goodbye losers

Rich: is he actually gone or

Slushies: d a d d y

Slushies: …

Slushies: yeah he's gone

Rich: this is the funniest thing to me

C: are we quite done

Lesbiabs: god I hope so

Jenna: let’s talk about sex!

Lesbiabs: ;) y’all are good at that

Slushies: BROOKE NO

Lesbiabs: mmm I love my gfs

Jenna: same

C: same

Lesbiabs: HEY RICH! JAKE! DUSTIN! U UNCOMFORTABLE YET?

C: womEN CAN BE SEXUAL TOO

Jenna: why are we yelling let’s just be pals

Adhdrama: good idea

Adhdrama: I feel like there aren't enough strong roles in theatre these days?? 

C: oh my god

Adhdrama: sp e c i a l i n t e r e s t

Slushies: mine is vore

Slushies: wrong chat

Slushies: fuck

Adhdrama: I hope you’re not talking about kinks over there young man

Jeremy: j a k e l i k e s v o r e

Slushies: no I dNT

Rich: I can actually confirm he doesn’t like vore ;)

Jenna:…I can’t believe I'm actually saying _thank god_ to an innuendo

Dustin: BOOB

C: thanks for ur input Dustin 

C: (dw I know you mean mood)

Rich: one time I cried in the bathtub

Player 1: thanks rich

Jeremy: thanks rich

Rich: one time fffffffffffffff

C: the time fucking killed him

Slushies: dude u ok

Jenna: im so confused

Adhdrama: same

Rich: fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffssdsffsffffff

Slushies: ?????

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg]

Rich: rixch has fgone offline 

Slushies: rich thats not how it works

Slushies: u okay?

Slushies: dude?????

 

Slushies to Rich

Slushies: bro you okay

Slushies: dude

Slushies: dude ur kinda freaking me out

 

Jeremy to d*ddy

Jeremy: I hate this chat title

[Jeremy changed the chat title to study group!]

Player 1: liar :P

Jeremy: lkdhgdjgf

 

Slushies to Player 1

Slushies: dude u don’t gotta answer and I promise i wont tell but!!  
Slushies: is starstripe Jeremy?

Player 1: [itsmorelikelythanyouthink.jpg]

 

Player 1 to study group!

Player 1: y'all iM hekcingn gay

Slushies: we know

Rich: we know

Jeremy: we know

Jenna: we know

C: we know

Lesbiabs: we know

Dustin: we know

Adhdrama: we know and I support u

Player 1: christine is the real mvp here

Adhdrama: ily

Player 1: ily2

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg]

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg] 

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg] 

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg] 

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg] 

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg]

Slushies: rich I have several questions

Slushies: the first one is ‘what the fuck’

Slushies: ?????

Rich: now you can eat sunlight

Slushies: u here?

Rich: [nowyoucaneatsunlight.jpg]

Slushies: dude u gotta stay here. breathe, okay?

Rich: no

Slushies: bring yourself back okay?

Slushies: i'm coming over

C: what's happening

Lesbiabs: everyone's having a breakdown

Jenna: okay mood

Adhdrama: i'm a fourth wheel apparently

C: *kiss emoji*

Adhdrama: rude :(

Lesbiabs: i support u Christine

Adhdrama: thakns


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yo my school's filter blocked this fic as smut lmaoooo and ao3s blocked at my house but!!! i'm stealing some public wifi so here

[ Tuesday, February 15, 14:22 ]

Rich: sorry about yesterdays bs??????  
Rich: i’d started thinking the squip was back & it

Rich: fucked with my mind??? So I kinda just

Rich: dissociated my way out of the situation yknow

Adhdrama: gotcha buddy

Player 1: rich we’re breakdown twins now

Rich: whoomp sounds like fun

Dustin: boob

C: y’all I love my gf

Jenna: moob

Lesbiabs: moob

Lesbiabs: wait which one

C: both of u!! love

Dustin: im gay can't relate

Dustin: I love my crush tho

Slushies: ooooh a cruuuuush!!!

Slushies: whom

Dustin: thats claSSIFIEd

Player 1: mood

Jeremy: christine

Jeremy: remember when we were dating

Adhdrama: how could I forget

Jeremy: it’s so funny bc I know I had a crush on u at least at first but then once we started dating I was like “woah I love this girl bUT not romantically”

Adhdrama: I know???you told me when we broke up

Jeremy: yeah I just felt like saying it again

Jeremy: ur a cool girl

Adhdrama: thanks jeremy <3

Jeremy: love u

Adhdrama: love u too :)

C: ok this is sickeningly sweet stop it

Lesbiabs: quiet Chloe. I think it’s cute <3

Jenna: don’t listen to the haters <3

C: it’s so,,,,,straight

Rich: bOOB

Jeremy: we’re friendship Romeo & Juliet

Adhdrama: yeMP WE ARE I LOVE ;-;

C: take it to a different fucking chat guys I'm gonna puke

Dustin: fskdjfhjkzhc

Jeremy: bye off to speak w/ the love of my life

 

—

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: love u

Adhdrama: love u too

Jeremy: <33 no hetero

Adhdrama: nO HETERO

Adhdrama: hey

Adhdrama: was wondering if u liked anyone??????

Adhdrama: romantically

Adhdrama: sorry

Jeremy: not that I know of?

Jeremy: hbu

Adhdrama: u gotta not tell dude

Adhdrama: or I KILL you

Jeremy: okay?????

Adhdrama: do u promise

Jeremy: yeS

Adhdrama: I low-key have a crush on Jenna

Adhdrama: im SORRY I had to tell somEONe

Jeremy: no it’s okay

Jeremy: and ur in luck since she’s polyam

Adhdrama: but she’s dating Chloe & Brooke and I dont have crushes on either of them

Jeremy: it’s something u’d have to work out w/ her bUt

Jeremy: I think it’s cute

Adhdrama: aww

 

C to study group!

C: my girlfs are so great

Slushies: chloe we k n o w

Slushies: but did they suck ur dick behind a 7-11

C: I sucked Jenna’s

Slushies: I’m not good w/ sarcasm

C: that was completely deadpan

Slushies: oh my god tmi

Jenna: being trANS ISNT! INHERENTLY! NSFW!

Slushies: the tmi was @ the dicksucking

Jenna: I know

Slushies: oh

Slushies: not good at sarcasm

Slushies: anyway can we,,,,,,pls stop talking about sucking dick.,,,,, Rich is still asleep

Jenna: AJFHKFHC

Jeremy: so next up on innuendos I didn't necessarily want to hear,

Player 1: :(( I'm so lonely

Dustin: same

Adhdrama: same

Jeremy: same

Player 1: :(((((((((((

Adhdrama: fuckign

Adhdrama: yo #askapolyamorous is it only like. groups where everyone likes each other or

C: nah it's just whoever likes whoever and a lot of trust ya know?

Adhdrama: ohhh

Adhdrama: ok thanks :P

Adhdrama: im sad y'all

Player 1: why?

Adhdrama: lonely

Player 1: same

Adhdrama: starstripe?

Player 1: yeah

Adhdrama: sorry :/

Player 1: it’s ok

Player 1: I need to get over it

Player 1: he won’t ever see me

Player 1: we’ll just keep going forever and he’ll see me but never really /see/

Player 1: cause he’s on the other side of some line or gate or glass

Player 1: and i can’t get through

Player 1: people like me can’t get through

Adhdrama: shatter the fucking window, Player 1

Adhdrama: go get your boy <3

C: ‘shatter the fucking window, Player 1’

C: seriously tho

C: go for it

C: what could you lose?

Player 1: an entire fucking friendship thanks for asking

C: oh

Lesbiabs: yo im here

Lesbiabs: when I accidentally told Jenna I loved her I wanted to McDie™

Lesbiabs: look where we are now though!!

Player 1: but you're

Player 1: you're different

Player 1: literally I'm so fuckign undesirable

Player 1: brooke literally any girl would like you

Player 1: I'm

Player 1: I'm just a f

Player 1: I'm just a gay guy in a red sweater listening to Marley and bothering the gc with my problems

Player 1: sorry

Player 1: I'll just go

 

Player 1 has left the chat

 

Jeremy: why doesn’t he talk to me about his problems?????

Adhdrama: idk jere

Adhdrama: maybe it’s personal?

Jeremy: he’s spilling it on the gc tho

Adhdrama: he might feel u don't understand?????? I don’t know but good luck figuring it out <3

 

Adhdrama has added Player 1 to the chat

 

Adhdrama: you aint leaving michael. You aint leaving

Player 1: ugh

Player 1: sorry

Adhdrama: it’s chill dude

Player 1: sorry jeremy

Player 1: it’s just awkward

Jeremy: ok

Player 1: don't ok me jereMY YOU KNOW I HAVE ANXIETY

Jeremy: sorRY

Jeremy: ily im sry ily 

Player 1: better thanks

Jeremy: you're welcome

Slushies: mike

Player 1: don't call me that ever again

Slushies: michael

Slushies: rich and I were pals

Slushies: and then he sucked my dick behind a 7-11

Player 1: please stop talking about rich sucking ur dick behind a 7-11

Rich: no

Player 1: I wanna kiss him

Player 1: starstripe

Player 1: not rich

Player 1: or jake

Player 1: sorry I'm beIGN ANNOYING AGAIN

Adhdrama: dude u gotta feel ok about talking about ur feelings God Damn

Dustin: hey michael

Dustin: wanna be gay in pm’s

Player 1: yeah sure

 

Player 1 to Dustin:

Player 1: yo

Dustin: so you're gay

Player 1: yeah

Dustin: for?????

Player 1: ;)

Dustin: ill tell u if u tell me

Player 1: can't fuckin pass that one up?????

Dustin: so

Player 1: jeremy but u can't tell 

Dustin: knew it

Dustin: mine's Rich

Player 1: shit dude

Player 1: that sucks

Dustin: yeah

Dustin: so

Dustin: go ahead & be gay

Player 1: I wanna fuck jeremy

Player 1: there I said it

Player 1: internalized homophobia’s a bitch

Player 1: he’s really

Player 1: wow

Dustin: understandable

Dustin: continue

Player 1: his eyes!!!!! good

Player 1: his arms!!!! good

Player 1: his furry kink!!!!! not good but I can still appreciate and love him!!!!!

Dustin: waIT JEREMY’S A FURRY

Player 1: hIS FURSONA IS A DOLPHIN KDJSHGKVDHFXGLVS

Dustin: DLKFHGVKDL;’FOPCM

Dustin: continue

Player 1: his legs?????good

Player 1: his smile????so good. it’s like a secret that he can’t tell but is also telling you just by smiling, yknow?

Player 1: he draws on his arms when he’s bored sometimes

Player 1: …he takes pron breaks to talk to me

Player 1: I’ve… bought clothes and shit based on how easy they’d be for him to take off

Player 1: his hair is rly soft when he fuckin washes it

Player 1: I also want him on TOP OF ME but okay

Player 1: I love him so much

Player 1: he won’t love me back though

Player 1: I'm so stupid sorry I need to fucken 

Player 1: stop

Dustin: it’s okay u fuck

Player 1: ur turn

Player 1: tell me about rich !!

Dustin: hhh okay

Dustin: well he’s the perfect height for cuddling, first of all

Dustin: his hair is soft — I've never actually feLt it but I know it would be

Dustin: god he’s fukken ripped dude u wouldn't believe

Dustin: he’s got??? biceps???????? yes??????

Dustin: that tank top he has, you know the one, it shows them off

Dustin: uhhhhh he has a nice ass?

Dustin: uh he’s fucjkign,,,,,,

Dustin: I love his laugh

Dustin: I love him

Dustin: I love him so goddamn much

Dustin: I love him

Dustin: but he DOESNT FUCKING LOVE ME SO THAT’S FUN

Dustin: sorry

Dustin: im so stupid

Dustin: im sorry

Player 1: no it’s ok

Dustin: and he’s in love with fucking Jake

Dustin: dont get me wrong

Dustin: Jake’s a great guy

Dustin: but

Dustin: I just wish I had a chance yknow

Player 1: I feel that dude

Player 1: I feel that so hard

Player 1: wow

Dustin: wow


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> me: this won't be a crossover fic!  
> me, approximately 2 chapters later: gODDAMNIT

[ Wednesday, February 16, 03:49 ]

Lesbiabs: hey heckers it’s 03:49 so I don't expect an answer

Lesbiabs: I wanna heckin die

Lesbiabs: y’all

Lesbiabs: might just go kms bye

Lesbiabs: im jk

Lesbiabs: not gna do that

Lesbiabs: watching youtube now

Lesbiabs: sorry bye

[ Wednesday, February 16, 04:19 ]

Lesbiabs: I'm back I wanna fuckin uhhhh

Lesbiabs: how does one say ‘die’

Lesbiabs: hi im brooke im 16 and DE A T H IS THE FINAL DESTINATION

Lesbiabs: have y’all met uhhhhhhfuck what’s his name

Lesbiabs: the freshman at the other school????

Lesbiabs: looks like hot topic. always fuckin high

Lesbiabs: CONNOR. YEAH HAVE U MET CONNOR

Lesbiabs: bc I wish I could have hair that great

[ Wednesday, February 16, 05:01 ]

C: brooke oh my god

C: I wasn’t there

C: brooke

C: brooke

C: answer me dumbass

C: you’re scaring me babe

Lesbiabs: im here

Lesbiabs: sorry

C: fuckign,,

C: dont SCARE me like that dumbass

Lesbiabs: sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I was sleeping

C: no no I overreacted it’s okay

Jenna: fUCK im sorry Brooke I should have been there

Adhdrama: not to break up the mentally ill girlfs party but 

Adhdrama: hi

Jenna: u can be a mentally ill girlf too!!!

Adhdrama: im,,,not anyone’s girlf yet

Jenna: sry

Jenna: join us anyway

Adhdrama: mkay

Lesbiabs: I wanna die

C: noah fence but we Know

Adhdrama: let her rant Chloe

C: I said Noah fence

Adhdrama: dfjkxghjsd

Lesbiabs: so! idk if all of u know this but! my brother’s an abusive dickwad. & I was talking to this girl I met at a jazz band concert thing named Zoe, and her brother, his name’s connor, he can be the same way

Lesbiabs: and!! I started thinking about my brother!! 

Lesbiabs: fucking dickwad 

Lesbiabs: he fuckin

Lesbiabs: nevermind

Lesbiabs: dick

Lesbiabs: zoe’s rly nice tho

Jenna: u should add her!!

Adhdrama: yeah I want to meet her now :)

C: she makes my girlf happy? yes? add.

Lesbiabs: mkay lemme ask her first tho

[Lesbiabs has added Jazz band to the chat]

Jazz band: hi!

Jazz band: im Zoe

Jazz band: she/her

Jazz band: I met brooke at jazz band and we were in the same hotel room overnight so

Jenna: ayy nice to meet u!! I'm jenna, she/her

C: Chloe here, also she/her

Lesbiabs: obviously I'm brooke

Adhdrama: hey! I'm christine, she/her

Jazz band: nice to meet yall!

Lesbiabs: did u just say y’all

Jazz band: um???yes???

Adhdrama: be QUIET brooke it’s a good word =P

Jazz band: thank u christine

[Jazz band has changed their status to ‘trombones?’]

[C has changed their status to ‘trombones.’]

[Lesbiabs has changed their status to ‘maybe trombones can be our always’]

[Adhdrama has changed their status to ’t-tr-tromb-b-bones??’]

[Jenna has changed their status to ‘trom-bONER’]

Jazz band: jenna I have a question

Jazz band: what the fuck

Jenna: fkjsdjhdsfsfd

Jazz band: anyone mind if I

Jazz band: depression

Jazz band: it’s gna take a lot for me to forgive connor

Jazz band: but

Jazz band: im willing to try

Lesbiabs: im proud of you bby

Jazz band: did u just call me baby

Lesbiabs: PLATONICALLY

Jazz band: fdbfcvc

Jazz band: but! If Connor were to try? I would too

Lesbiabs: if I find that fuck I'll tell him to treat my pal right

Jazz band: we’re pals now

Lesbiabs: gal pals

Adhdrama: where are the guys??????

C: asleep bc they’re lazy little shits

Jenna: rich and jake are probably having some fun behind a 7-11 if u know what I mean

Jazz band: is that an inside joke or smth ?

Jenna: fdjkhjksh okay hang on 

Jenna: [screenshot_7-11receipts_pt1]

Jazz band: AHAHAHHA

Jenna: so yeah

Jenna: due to the aforementioned dick-sucking, if someone says 7-11 we’re usually referring to sex

C: unless it’s michael bc he actually goes there for slushies

Adhdrama: ur gna love michael

Adhdrama: he’s a dork and I love him

Player 1: trombone me daddy

Jenna: what the fuck

Adhdrama: I take back my previous comment

Adhdrama: Zoe, this is Michael

Player 1: I'm high

Jazz band: fjkdhgjvhdfxv

Jazz band: wish I was

C: MOOD

Lesbiabs: im sorry u have to deal w/ michael

Player 1: I'm great zoe dw

Player 1: I only talk about my unrequited crush on this one guy Starstripe 88% of the time

Jazz band: and the other 22%?

Player 1: weed.

Adhdrama: michael, remind me why I love you :P

Player 1: because I'm wonderful

Jenna: um

Player 1: trombone me mommy

Jenna: quick question what the fuck

Player 1: ;)

Player 1: I can't believe y'all said boys are lazy what is this reverse sexism

Adhdrama: u do realise that doesn't exist

Player 1: yeah

Adhdrama: oh thank god

Jazz band: im yellin

Rich: yoOOOO we have a Newcomer I'm rich I'm 15 he/hiim and. I fcuking love my bf

Jazz band: im zoe im 14 she/her and I love my gf

C: whomst

Jazz band: alana beck? U prbly dont know her

C: I dont

Jenna: I do! I met her at camp

Jazz band: ayyy

Jazz band: am I allowed to add her? Like is that a thing I can do

Lesbiabs: yeah go ahead

[Jazz band has added Alana to the chat]

Alana: hi!

Jazz band: yep this is my girl I love her

Alana: love u too

Alana: im alana, she/her, uhhh I’m a ravenclaw? 

Adhdrama: WHOMP SO AM I 

Adhdrama: christine, she/her

Lesbiabs: Brooke, she/her

Player 1: michael he/him

C: Chloe, she/her

Jenna: jenna, she/her

Jeremy: what UP 

Jeremy: michael is

Jeremy: thank god

Jeremy: love u mikey

Player 1: love u 2

Slushies: OH SO WHEN HE SAYS IT IT’S OKAY

Slushies: im jake he/him and I'm tall

Rich: im rich he/him and I'm not tall

Slushies: we get up at the same time

Slushies: but not because we’re gay

Slushies: we’re close but not that way

Rich: must I mention the 7-11 incident?

Slushies: shhhh rich we’re pretending to be straight

Alana: please take your foreplay off the gc

Alana: im jk it’s chill

Slushies: thank god this is what we always do

Jazz band: pffff im sorry to the rest of the gc

Dustin: im dustin, he/him, I think thats everyone???

Alana: it says 10 other members so,, zoe, you, jake, rich, michael, jeremy, chloe, brooke, jenna, and christine?

C: yep!

Jazz band: ay nice meeting y’all

Player 1: I like ur pfp Zoe also dw I'm gay

Alana: aasdfghjk are u hitting on my gf?????

Jazz band: thanks

Jazz band: alana pls


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the loudest one is mine

[ Wednesday, February 16, 06:58]

Lesbiabs: y’all…I love Halsey

Lesbiabs: can we talk about this

Lesbiabs: love her

Jazz band: sAME

Jeremy: *michael voice* I guess I'm not like the other guys… I don’t listen to these mainstream artists, hallsey and jutin beeber and ed sharin. I only listen to REAL music — bob marley’s, that is. I was born in the wrong era, I think… No one here really understands me… My best friends are the voices in my head… They’re with me when no one else is, even my crush Starstripe… i’m fucked up… I make mistakes… but I show my vulnerability. I'm not like the other guys… I watch the discovery channel on my own time, and I love video games. Other boys waste their time smoking and having sex with girls, but me? I'm too refined for that lifestyle.

Player 1: you nailed it what the fuck

Adhdrama: IM CHOKIGN LIJGHDFKHGLFJVSN IT’S SO ACCURATE

C: ed sharin

Lesbiabs: im too REFINED

Jenna: fuck u having sex with girls is fun I am bisexual

Alana: mood

Jazz band: mood

Rich: “my best friends are the voices in my head” KJDFHGIVDKJZKN WHAT IS THIS A 13 YEAR OLD EMO GIRL’S TUMBLR PAGE

Player 1: my liFE is a 13 y/o girl’s tumblr page

C: I still have mine from 7th grade

Lesbiabs: mE TOO

Lesbiabs: literally not just in a mood way

C: mine,,,,,,,mine is @bloodyrosesxxx

Lesbiabs: waiT DUDE

Lesbiabs: mINE WAS @broken_brook

C: yoU MEAN WE WERE TUMBLR FRIENDS AND DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

Lesbiabs: YES

C: KJFDGKHVDJLFXCNV YOU MEAN BOTH OF US JUST WENT “OH A FRIEND W/ THE SAME NAME AS MY OTHER FRIEND THATS FUNNY” AND MOVED ON?????

Lesbiabs: KLJFDHSGIVFDCX APPARENTLY

C: FUCKEINING PLOT TWIST

Jazz band: im yelling this is the best thing

Jazz bands: this literally only happens in fanfics written at midnight by 15 y/o boys with eyes half-asleep typing away while listening to Staind im yelling

Alana: thats so oddly specific but you're right

Player 1: he’s so correct tho

Player 1: my tumblr is @mlm-in-the-starlight

Player 1: in case anyone wants a follow?

Slushies: is there furry porn

Player 1: no what the fuck

Slushies: ok just checking

Slushies: had a bad experience once

Player 1: Jere’s probably has furry porn

Jeremy: michael u have my tumblr

Player 1: I'm 500% sure u have a secret one with a url like x-fuck1ng-furry-d0lph1n-x

Jeremy: I hATE YOU SO MUCH MICHAEL MELL

Slushies: idk if I dare ask but

Slushies: is your

Slushies: is your fursona actually

Slushies: actually a dolphin

Jeremy: shit the fUCK UP

Slushies: but is it

[Jeremy has removed Slushies from the chat]

[Rich has added Slushies to the chat]

Slushies: but u didn't deny it

Rich: look slushies ur really not in a place to be talking

Rich: s l u s h y k i n k

C: I really hope you’re joking

Rich: ;)

C: oh god

Slushies: LFDJXHGOIVSN

Slushies: are we exposing each other’s kinks now?

Slushies: Rich’s is hands, he’s got a thing; Chloe’s fursona is a dog; Michael’s is blindfolds; Jeremy’s a furry and his fursona is a dolphin; Dustin likes dirty talk, jenna probably likes body worship and foreplay, brooke is a dom, and christine is ace & doesnt have kinks. Alana and Zoe idk u well enough but I'm gna go trombones for the both of u.

Slushies: educated guesses

Rich: is it a guess if we’ve had sex

Slushies: yes

Chloe: mY FURSONA IS NOT A DO G WHAT THE HELL JAKE

Player 1: why must u do this

Dustin: I mean just bc ur right,

Jenna: but WHY

Brooke: …..

Christine: thanks Jake

Slushies: anytime

Jazz band: I'd fuck a trombone

Jazz band: lov the cronch

Alana: zoe we need to talk

Alana: why are you eating a trombone

Alana: Zoe answer me

Jazz band: im eating it out

Alana: Zoe

Alana: if u wanna leave me for ur trombone go ahead????????????????just tell me next time god damn

Jazz band: kjdfhgfivhcn

Slushies: so can we talk about Chloe and Jeremy’s fursonas

C: no

Jeremy: no

Slushies: so you admit they’re fursonas. you admit you're a furry 

C: no

Jeremy: no

Slushies: god be like that

Slushies: gna go cry on my boyf’s shoulder

 

Jeremy, to Player 1: dude

Jeremy: dude let’s change our screen names to boyf and riends

Michael: who’s who

Jeremy: im boyf??? It’s on my bag???

Michael: lmao point

 

[Jeremy has changed their name to Boyf]

[Player 1 has changed their name to Riends]

 

Riends to study group!

Riends: y'all

Boyf: look

Riends: take that rich

Boyf: how quickly the arrogant become weak

Riends: used ur own weapon against you

Boyf: we gay. not for each other just in general

Riends: he’s my boyf

Boyf: and he’s my riend.

Rich: question: why

Jazz band: this tag team thing creeps me out stop it

Rich: haha michael and jeremy are gay haha

Rich: fucking SQUIPS RUINING EVERYTHING

Rich: fuck

Rich: can't fucking believe I

Rich: fuck

Rich: sorry

Rich: sorry sorry sorry

Alana: what’s a squip?

Rich: it’s from japan. it’s a grey oblong pill — quantum nano-technology CPU. The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until it implants in your brain and tells you what to do

Alana: so it’s,,,like,,,drugs?

Rich: it’s… (jeremy finish this one for me)

Boyf: it’S BETTER THAN DRUGS, ALANA

Boyf: it ruined my life

Boyf: it fcukgin,,

Boyf: it made me leave michael

Boyf: and I

Boyf: I hate that

Boyf: so much

Boyf: mikeyboy im so sorry I love you

Boyf: im sorry. ’my squip made me do it’ isn't a worthy explanation, I know, it’s just the only one I've got

Riends: bro it’s okay

Riends: it hurt in the moment but

Riends: it’s okay now. it’s all okay

Rich: mine was in the form of Kermit ngl and ,,,

Rich: the muppets is one of m

Rich: the muppets t

Rich: the muppets remind me of what happened and I prefer not to hear about it/see it

Slushies: fuckin neurotypicals ruining a word meant for nds, fuck them ALL rich

Rich: it’s my trigger it fucking triggers me fuck 

Rich: thanks jake

Alana: so this pill made you do things???? And told u what to do???

Jenna: yeah p much

Alana: why was it so bad?

Rich: well I knew I was bi before— well

Rich: freshman year, I didn't have a gf or a clue. I was a loser. Good times would only soar by. I was gross as any female would attest, my sexting was a futile quest, my little penis was depressed. He was so lonely, poor guy (thanks Jake) I was helpless and hopeless. On the school social network? Just a blip. I was stagnant and idle and so suicidal and then

Rich: and then I got a squip

Rich: and it told me that to be cool, I needed to be heterosexual.

Rich: it wanted me to go back to living as a girl but I couldn't bc I’d just started t and it would destroy my mental health so I said no

Rich: and so every time I was attracted to a boy? Zap

Jazz band: thats fucking conversion therapy thats not ok

Rich: yeah I know

Rich: jere do u wanna tell ur,,

Boyf: look I was so hopeless that I jerked off in the mornings. Michael was my only friend and rich was always bullying me. And then he told me about this squip thing and I was like???how bad could it be??? So I got one.

Boyf: mine took the form of Keanu Reeves. It told me what to do, how to do it. It made me repeat after it saying I was terrible and that I made it want to die. When I tried to jerk off it would shock me. And it blocked michael from my field of vision so I couldn't see/hear him. And it made me\

Boyf: um

Boyf: chloe idk if u remember this but we were gettin it on highkey during ur party right? But the squip, it wouldn't let me leave? and step away? bc I was getting uncomfortable (no offense chloe)

C: fuck im so sorry

C: fuck

C: I should've asked if u were okay w/ it sorry I'm so sorry fuck

Boyf: it wasn't your fault it was my squip’s

Boyf: I mean ok u maybe should've asked but! dude my squip prbly wouldn't have let me say no

Boyf: it controlled my limbs

Boyf: it was fucking scary

Rich: and when I was at this party

Rich: I deactivated it w/ the mountain dew red that michael brought me

Rich: and remembered I was bi

Rich: and

Rich: I set a fire to try to kill myself

Rich: whoomp

Boyf: and michael was in the bathroom having a breakdown and I tried to get him out but!!!!!! he wouldn’t!!!!!!!!!!he almost died and it was my fault!!!!!!!!

Jenna: every time I thought of myself as a girl it would shock me

Jenna: I understand rich

Jenna: oh to those of u who don't know I'm trans

Jenna: and it

Jenna: god

Lesbiabs: it made me do such awful things

C: me too

Lesbiabs: it was so bad oh god

Boyf: it won't leAVE ME SOMETIMES I HEAR ITS VOICE IN MY HEAD WHEN IM TRYING TO SLEEP OR THING AND IT WONT LEAVE ME ALONE

Riends: the loudest one is yours

Boyf: the loudest one is mine

Riends: say it again

Boyf: the loudest one is mine

Riends: good

Boyf: it made fun of me for being attracted to people and now I'm scared and I feel dirty and im so tired of it

Jenna: im sorry bro

Alana: um jeremy?

Boyf: ye?

Alana: u dont gotta answer but, do u think it making you keep going further was sexual assault in a way?

Boyf: I guess so?

Alana: like bc u didn't have control over ur body or choices

Boyf: well when u say it like that,,

Riends: im sorry jeremy

Boyf: it’s ok dude it’s not your fault

Riends: for the record id hang every star in the sky for you

Riends: even if u wear that stupid striped shirt all the time

Boyf: thanks I think

Riends: <3


	5. five

[ Wednesday, February 16, 07:27]

Rich to Riends:

Rich: im an actual dumbass

Rich: starstripe is jeremy isn’t it

Riends: was I too obvious?????

Rich: I dont think he knows

Rich: im a total dumbass

Rich: how did I not know

Riends: kjdhxcghjvk idk man idk

 

Jazz band to study group!

Jazz band: sorry I was geTTING READY FOR SCHOOL LIKE YALL SHOULD BE

Alana: they'll probably cancel it tbh

Riends: god i hope so I wanna stay w/ my player 2 and fuck around

Rich: thats so gay dude

RIends: owo I don't give a shit

Boyf: mood

Alana: im gay

Jazz band: alana we know

Alana: you're gay

Jazz band: im pan

Alana: you're pan

Jazz band: I knOW

 

[ Wednesday, February 16, 09:45 ]

Boyf: gc poppin today y'all

Slushies: im so hungover

Adhdrama: maybe u shouldn't drink!

Slushies: gotta drink the pain away

Rich: mood

Boyf: I love riends

Riends: I love boyf

Boyf: loml

Riends: lomfl2

C: ew stop

C: too much cute

Riends: this is homophobia Chloe

C: go back to your “video games” ( so that’s what the kids are calling sex these days! )

Boyf: :(

Jenna: be nice

Adhdrama: has she ever been nice tho?

Jazz band: [connordancing.mp4] Y’ALL MY BROTHER CAN DANCE??????

Adhdrama: PAHAHAHHAHPFF

Boyf: only 34 seconds??? :(

Alana: ay we didn't want to get caught

Riends: look @ them hips thooooo

Rich: I agreeeeee

Jazz band: please stop hitting on my brother

Riends: im just appreciating a good physical form Zoe

Rich: mmm nice flesh suit Connor

Jazz band: what the fuck

Slushies: is my flesh suit not enough?!?!??!?!

Slushies: bc u seemed to think it was enough last night

Rich: okay slushies fuck u

Slushies: I seem to recall y

Alana: ALL RIGHT THATS ENOUGH

Riends: NO MORE

C: THERE ARE INNOCENT CHILDREN HERE

Jazz band: SOME OF US DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR KINKS

Slushies: ou sayign something similar and yet differen

Slushies: I wish rich would stop tAKING MY GODDAMN PHONE

Slushies: it’s rich,,,im so sorry,,,so so so sorry

Slushies: goddamnit rich

Jazz band: AHFDSJHVSN

Riends: hey

Riends: hey chloe

Riends: remember that time u were like UUUUUH OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO PEEEEEEEE and I was like,,,,,,im hAVNG MY PERIOD

C: JKHFDGKJHVSZ YES

Jenna: “take your time honey”

Riends: JHDFJKGHV YES

C: were u actually

Riends: …yes

Jenna: JKHFSGKHVSJKDHF

Jenna: wish that was me

Jenna: wanna trade

Riends: IM FUCKIN DOWN GIRL

Jenna: leT’S GO DUDE

Riends: whOOMP LETS GO ACTIVATE THE BODYSWITCHERATOR 3000

Boyf: did u just say bodyswitcherator3000

Riends: yeah?

Boyf: why are we friends,,nerd

Riends: idk man idk

 

Riends to Boyf:

Riends: hey man ik you're kidding but it reminds me of when you called me a loser at the halloween party

Boyf: shit im sorry

Riends: no it’s ok just

Riends: maybe lay off on those kinda jokes for a while??

Riends: sorry ik it’s stupid

Boyf: no no it’s okay

Boyf: you gotta tell me if something I say makes u feel bad ok??

Riends: yeah sorry

Boyf: stop apologizing or i’ll rip ur balls off

Riends: oI I WORKED HARD FOR THEM

Boyf: I dont think clicking “buy” counts as “working hard” but okay <3

Riends: kjhdsjkhdjf

 

Jenna to study group!

Jenna: im so excited whoomp

Dustin: y’all are the Biggest mood

Rich: do I get in on the bodyswitcherator3000 too or

Jenna: rich I've only got one

Slushies: I mean I'm glad you're not collecting them??????

Lesbiabs: she could collect mine any day

Jenna: hey brooke do you ever think before you speak? ever?

Lesbiabs: no

Jenna: love u

Lesbiabs: love u 2

Boyf: I h8 the squip

Rich: same

Slushies: his broke my legs so I gotta say same

 

Riends to Boyf:

Riends: um

Riends: about that,,,about the party?

Boyf: yeah?

Riends: well after I had my panic attack in the bathroom I

Riends: um

Riends: the house was on fire???

Riends: and when I was in there I

Riends: I was so

Riends: everything hurt

Riends: um

Riends: I wanted to die

Boyf: no im

Boyf: im sorry

Riends: my only friend had left me and I was just a loser in the bathroom by himself

Boyf: im so sorry mikey im so sorry

Riends: all anyone knew about me was my name and some of them didn't even know that

Riends: so when Rich set a fire?

Riends: I um

Riends: I jumped out the window

Riends: I wanted to die

Riends: Jeremy I wanted to die and I 

Riends: I just thought you should know that

Riends: sorry

Boyf: Fuck im sorry im sorry I'm sorry

Boyf: im so sorry mikey

Boyf: I should have been there

Boyf: I shoULD HAVE BEEN THERE

Boyf: fuck

Boyf: im so sorry bro I'm so sorry

Riends: I dont blame u?? u had a supercomputer in ur brain

Riends: you couldn't see me

Boyf: I got the squip on purpose!!

Boyf: I made it block you!!

Boyf: this is my fault

Riends: that part, yes, is your fault. but calling me a loser and shoving me was the squip. the panic attack was allllll me. well and my dysphoria. jumping out the window? that was me. sure getting the squip was the,,,exposition or whatever they call it in books??? I'll give u that. but in the end it was nobody’s fault. it was just all the situations piling onto each other. so don’t feel bad

Boyf: that was so eloquent what the fuck

Riends: thaksns I think

Boyf: love u bro

Riends: love u too bro

 

Rich to study group!

Rich: ay y’all I feel like shit

Slushies: why???

Rich: I have depression, Jake

Slushies: no I meant

Rich: sarcasm, Jake

Slushies: ohhhh

Rich: anyone mind if I feckin die

Slushies: I do

Jazz band: I've never even met you irl but I do

Riends: I do!!  
Adhdrama: I do too

Rich: y’all aint fuckin gna let me die are u

C: nope

Rich: damn

Boyf: im late but! I feel like shit too!

Rich: gOD wanna die w/ me

Boyf: yeah sure let’s go

Rich: im dying

Boyf: same

Rich: im dying and in pain

Boyf: same what the fuck

Rich: d y I n g

Boyf: dying fORE V E R

Rich: as opposed to non-permanent dying

Boyf: rich that’s just sleeping

Rich: no more like a coma

Boyf: well whatever it is I'm down

Rich: same

Riends: [bronies.jpg]

Rich: how many fucking brownies are in ur mouth

Lesbiabs: why is it named ‘bronies’

Riends: 3

Riends: FUCK i MEANT BROWNIES

Jenna: u shown jeremy that trick yet? ;)

Riends: KJFDGHGLKVEDXNV

Dustin: ahjdfkghdjfkhgkKHFDJKGHJKDS

Boyf: oh my god,,,

Boyf: uh he’s actually had five in his mouth in front of me so I know???

Rich: JFHKFJHL MICHAEL STOP SHOWING OFF

Slushies: rich I'm gna go date michael now bYE

Rich: :((

Slushies: im jk

Rich: ik 

Riends: y’all let’s not fight over me

Boyf: why would that be useful information for me

Boyf: it’s funny bc I'm trans

Jenna: bfdjcvdcjkdl


	6. six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> now it starts getting dark bc i use writing to vent whoops sorry not sorry  
> tw: suicide, self harm, panic attacks, um references to drug use, blood?, bulimia, and uhhh using froyo as a way to escape your problems

[ Thursday, February 17, 01:32 ]

 

[ Riends has changed their name to M ]

M: I fucked up

M: I fucked uo

M: I fucked everything up

M: just like I always do

M: im

M: I fucbked uo

M: better off dead tfuck

M: im sorry

M: im sorry

M: no one ???actually cares???lmao

M: Im a fuckup holy fuck why do I have friends

M: fuck

M: fubckfc

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 01:36 ]

 

M: fuck fcuck fuck im so sorry

M: im so sorry

M: I dont deserve to be here

M: imsnsdoyrb

M: kim sorry to all of you I'm so rry jeremy I'm so sorry 

M: im sorry

M: im better off dead tbh lmao sorry

M: bye im sorry

M: fuck

[M has left the chat]

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 04:02 ]

[Adhdrama has added M to the chat]

Adhdrama: michael

Adhdrama: michael you’re scaring me

Adhdrama: please answer

Adhdrama: Michael please

[ M missed a video call from Adhdrama]

Boyf: FUCK

Boyf: christine woke me up

Boyf: FUCK FUCK FUCK

Boyf: MICHAEL

Boyf: MICHAEL PLEASE

Boyf: MICAHEL MICHAEL MICHAEL

Boyf: christine call me I'm omw to michael’s house

Adhdrama: okay

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 05:17 ]

C: FUCK

C: FUCK

C: I

C: MICHAEL

C: FUCK

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 05:31 ]

Lesbiabs: answer please

Lesbiabs: please

C: im freaking out rn please

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 05:46 ]

 

Adhdrama: jeremy isn’t really in a state to answer the phone right now

Adhdrama: I can explain what happened???

C: please

Adhdrama: jeremy went over to michael’s house while on the phone with me. he went in through the back door bc he has a key and the two of them have no boundaries. I can hear his footsteps through the phone. the door creaks open and he’s completely fucking silent before saying “christine I need you to come over right now”

Adhdrama: that’s the last coherent thing he’s said. I came over as fast as I could even tho I'm not technically legally allowed to. 

Adhdrama: I enter to find jeremy like. sprawled out on Michael’s bed crying??? and Michael’s fucking passed out in a pool of fucking blood 

Lesbiabs: oh my god

Adhdrama: so it’s around 4:30am and i'm in Michael’s room and it smells like weed. there’s eight Nutella sandwiches on his counter, each with a note like “hey mikey love u - mom” but he hadn’t eaten any of them. He was high as shIT I think but I couldn't tell for sure???? anyway he’s fucking bleeding out from his wrists and Jeremy’s sobbing over him hugging that goddamn red hoodie. 

Adhdrama: so naturally, I called 911. idk if y'all know but I want to be a doctor when I'm an adult??? So I knew how to do some shit so I checked his heart rate which was like 260bmp so FUCKING TERRIFYING. So I bandage up both his arms and I look like I walked out of a murder scene. jeremy’s still crying. The guy on the line is like “holy fuck” naturally. It’s like 4:37???when he gets there and Jeremy’s having a panic attack so bad he’s screaming and doesn’t know. Ms mell and the other ms mell and mr mell were all out at some party or shit so I texted them????

Lesbiabs: fuck

C: f u c k

Adhdrama: so jere, michael, and I are in the ambulance. im crying, Jeremy’s being tended to by some nice nurse lady, and there are two doctors checking michael. We get to the hospital arounD???4:45???

Adhdrama: jeremy went back to be checked after his panic attack and Michael’s still back there. Jeremy came back, still can’t talk, but he’s reading this with only mild hyperventilation so I think thats good???and he’s nodded ok to what iv’e said here

Adhdrama: and yeah

Adhdrama: i’vw been in here for an hour covered in Michael’s blood bc I can't bring myself to wash it off. Jeremy wants to say something I think

Adhdrama: hh its jeremmy im ssso scared gguys im sorry. wwont b at school probably till mmonday? sorry

Adhdrama: he has his phone but can't bring himself to open it

Lesbiabs: fuck

C: fuck

Rich: ok I just logged on and FUCK

Rich: what I'm hearing (heereing?) here (heere?) is that michael tried to kill himself and now jeremy’s panicking and you’re, im going to assume, feeling kinda numb?

Adhdrama: yeah

Adhdrama: nothing is really real lmao

Slushies: this is so fucked

Slushies: this is all so fucked

Slushies: god

Jazz band: I stopped reading at blood bc reasons so thanks rich for the summary???

Jazz band: fuck

Jazz band: I'll have to go see him at some point???

C: why are we all awake now

Lesbiabs: idk man

Alana: im up too holy fuck

Adhdrama: it’s bc slushies and rich were together, & zoe and alana were together.

C: ah makes sense

Jenna: Jake’s right this is so fucked

Rich: dysphoria was killing him the other day and idk what he “fucked up” but fuck I should've been there

Adhdrama: it’s not ur fault rich

Dustin: oh god

Jazz band: fuck

Rich: fuck

Adhdrama: fuck

Adhdrama: im gna go now 

Lesbiabs: okay

Lesbiabs: love u

Adhdrama: love u too

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 06:56 ]

 

[ Boyf has changed their name to Empty ]

Lesbiabs: I pretended to throw up bc I couldn't go to school

Jenna: fuck that I actually threw up

Jenna: five times

Lesbiabs: intentional?

Jenna: the second, third, and fifth times were

Lesbiabs: im sorry

Jenna: it’s okay

Empty: You deserve better, Jenna

Jenna: thanks

Adhdrama: he’s right y’know

Jenna: thank you

C: any Michael updates?

Adhdrama: nope sorry

Adhdrama: I hope you’re all doing okay?????

Jazz band: you’re sweet christine

Adhdrama: thanks <3

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 07:31 ]

Adhdrama:according to jere and the blood tests it’s been /days/ since michael last ate

Adhdrama: there’s plenty of caffeine in his system — probably monster???

Adhdrama: he’s unconscious still

Adhdrama: but they’re expecting him to slip into a sleep in the next half hour

Adhdrama: apparently it’s been a long while since he last slept

Adhdrama: if all goes well he’ll be up by eleven

C: fuck

C: that's so long for an update

C: fuck

Adhdrama: I agree

Adhdrama: Michael’s parents are here

Empty: You mean heere?

Adhdrama: haha yes I do

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 07:48 ]

Adhdrama: anyone wanna go out for froyo and cry?

C: please

Jenna: I'll go idk if I'll have any

Lesbiabs: why??

Adhdrama: for a distraction. he won’t wake up, even in the best scenario, for over two hours

Empty: I’m going.

Dustin: I'll come???

Rich: if jake goes I will

Slushies: if rich goes I will??

Rich: jake and I are going

Jazz band: am I invited ?

Adhdrama: of course!  
Alana: zoe invite me

Jazz band: alana wanna come

Alana: yeah sure babe <3

Adhdrama: pfft

Adhdrama: are any of you actually at school?

Jake: my parents let me take a mhealth day

Jenna: im home sick

C: same

Lesbiabs: same

Jazz band: alana and i are skipping

Dustin: I haven't been to school in like a month

Rich: home sick

Empty: I’m at the hospital

Empty: I'll go though.

Empty: I need a distraction, and I haven’t eaten.

Jenna: uhhhhh jere can I ask why ur writing style changed?

Empty: Typing normally when nothing else is normal feels horrible.

Empty: So, we're here

Empty: I’ll change my name once Michael’s awake.

Jenna: ok

Jenna: u do u dude

Adhdrama: so Michael’s parents can drive me & jere, if y’all wanna meet us at the froyo place by the school?

C: sounds good

Lesbiabs: idk how I'm getting out but I will

Slushies: I'll be there

Rich: suonds good

Adhdrama: see you guys there! <3


	7. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy's emotions maKE AN ENTERANCEEEEE  
> tw: talk of self harm, suicide (attempt)

[ Thursday, February 17, 11:52 ]

Adhdrama: HE’S UP!

Adhdrama: we can’t go see him yet but !!!

Adhdrama: this is good news !!!

[ Empty has changed their name to Jeremy ]

Jeremy: I just wish rich hadn’t been jerking Jake off under the table at the froyo place ://

Rich: fUCK I THOUGHT WE WERE COVERT

Jenna: how was that an appropriate time for public sex

Slushies: what can I say? i drown my emotions in sex

Lesbiabs: okay mood

Adhdrama: thEY’LL LET US IN AT ONE!!!!!

Adhdrama: we’re getting lunch

Adhdrama: finally a good thing

Jeremy: im gonna beat his ass

Jeremy: or kiss him idk

Lesbiabs: *chanting* kiss kiss kiss

Jeremy: fuck I didnt mean fhdgjfhdks

Jenna: you’re in a safe place, jeremy

Jeremy: y’all wouldn’t stop saying my fursona was a dolphin but ok

Slushies: we’re supposed to hide the truth from u???

Jenna: Jake be nice

Jenna: jeremy it’s ok to confess ur feelings

Adhdrama: everyone shut the fuck up I see a nurse

Adhdrama: she said he’s doing much better considering the circumstances!!

Adhdrama: …but non family/people-who-came-with-him-in-the-ambulance can’t come in till 4 and only if Michael’s up to it

Jeremy: we’RE GETTING NACHOS AND MTN DEW RED IM PUMPED

Jazz band: YEAH BOY!!  
  
Jazz band: that sounds like fun!!

Jenna: have a good time guys!!

Adhdrama: you’re too sweet <3

Jeremy: <3

Jeremy: loves of my life

Jazz band: <33

Jazz band: oh it was nice meeting y’all irl btw! even if I did have to see jake and rich at third base

Adhdrama: pfffff

Slushies: rude :( im trying my best :(

Alana: …yeah to get laid

Slushies: JKHFJFHKJHDF

Jeremy: god me too

M: I mean im awlays dtf!!!!!!!!!

M: theeeeye gave me soooo mjuch meds!!!!!!

M: HI GUYS!!!!!!!!

M: I;LL BBE OFF SOOOOON!!!!!

M: THEYS GIVE ME STIIIICHES!!!!!

M: IM HIGH AS SSHIIIIIIT!!!!!!

Jeremy: we can tell

Jeremy: also I love & appreciate you so much?????? So so much

M: THAMKS!!!!!!!

Jeremy: what the fuck?

M: I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy: love you too bro

M: SO MUUUUUCH!!!!!!!!!

M: IM SORRY I TRIED TO KILL MYSEFL!!!!!!!!

Jeremy: can we talk about this when you’re sober

M: OKAY!!!!!!!!

M: TTTTHE DOCTOR MAKING ME GET OFF NOW!!!!!!!

M: BYE!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy: bye love u

[ Thursday, February 17, 12:57 ]

Adhdrama: THREE MORE MINUTES

Jeremy: I can't wait

M: reading over my messages

M: soRRy oh my god

Jeremy: np bro

Jeremy: just glad to hear from u

Adhdrama: O N E M I N U T E

Jeremy: YEAH

Jeremy: ALERT ALERT ALERT THERE ARE PALS COMING IN 

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 15:04 ]

C: um?????

C: I'd like an update???

Jeremy: I cried a lot.

Jeremy: Christine and Michael and I hung out/cried and then christine was like ‘this is gay I'm gna go brb’ and michael and I cried some more???? and when she came back we watched star wars episode 7 

M: im gna be in the regular hospital for a few more hours & then I get 3 days at the psychiatric hospital ~

C: aw shit good luck

C: hospitals are either great or shit theres no in between

M: thanks chloe

C: np

 

Jeremy to Jeremy:

Jeremy: Im texting myself thats stupid but

Jeremy: the cuts were so deep

Jeremy: he must have really wanted to die and I WASNT THERE

Jeremy: im never there when it matters am I?

Jeremy: like the first time he tried to kill himself that I know of anyway at the party

Jeremy: like I saw them change the bandage and

Jeremy: it was bleeding post-stitches and I

Jeremy: I wasn't there

Jeremy: I feel so guilty

Jeremy: I knew he was cutting but it was always on his legs yknow? I mean he’s changed in front of me so I've seen but this was

Jeremy: it was new and terrifying and

Jeremy: I wasn't there

Jeremy: I dont know never mind

Jeremy: lmao im so pathetic im spamming my own phone

Jeremy: bye

 

[ Thursday, February 17, 17:13 ]

Lesbiabs: mmmmdont like this [man_with_face_on_back.mp4]

C: brooke why would you send us that

Lesbiabs: I dont know

Jenna: my girlfs are so weird

Jenna: love u

Jazz band: guys we should make a movie!!!

Jenna: about?

Jazz band: I didn't get that far ://

Jazz band: or A BAND!!!

Jazz band: I can play guitar!!!

Rich: I play drums

Alana: I can sing? Maybe?

M: I can edit the songs???

Christine: I can organize practices!!! And sing!!!

Jenna: I can support u??????

Lesbiabs: I can sing

C: I can strip in front of a crowd without blushing

Jenna: we know, chloe

Dustin: I can smoke weed

Slushies: I can receive covert hand jobs from Rich?

Rich: I can give Jake covert hand jobs

Jazz band: tmi and you’re both fired

Rich: frOM A BAND??!?!?!?

Slushies: THIS IS UNFAIR!!!

Rich: THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA

Slushies: IM CALLING MY LAWYER

Jazz band: you can't have sex onstage during a concert I'm so sorry

Jazz band: we wouldn't rly have concerts tho?

Jazz band: idk

Dustin: do u ever think abt how hot boys are & just cry???

Dustin: sorry I interrupted

Jazz band: it’s fine dustin

Jeremy: all the time, dustin, all the time

M: …big mood

Rich: all the time

C: yeah?

Slushies: I'm never NOT thinking about how hot boys are

M: S T A R S T R I P E

Dustin: pfffffff do u ever nOT talk/think about starstripe

M: I haven't stopped thinking about him since 3rd grade

Dustin: that's

Dustin: that’s nine years

M: guys look Dustin can do basic math

C: good job Dustin

Dustin: thanks

C: you’re welcome

M: hey guys I'm gay

C: we know

M: can we talk about this

M: because I'm very very gay

M: love boys

M: love guys

M: love dudes

M: gay

Jeremy: see, michael, the reason I'm your friend is for your eloquence

M: *kiss emojis* I know

Jeremy: I completely agree

M: boys good. love

Jeremy: very good! very love!

Jeremy: wait fuck

M: ??

Jeremy: it’s fine lmao

Jeremy: where were we? boys?

M: ah yes

M: boys  
  
M: good

M: so good

M: love their stupid swoopy hair

Jeremy: love their dumb hoodies

M: love boys

Jeremy: yes good

M: very good

Jeremy: kissing boys? a good

M: I haven't kissed a boy :(

Jeremy: me neither :(

M: lonely :(

Jeremy: 0 boys :(

M: it’s so sad :(

Jeremy: :(((

M: im so cold 

Jeremy: if you say what I think u will I s2g

M: wish I had a boy to warm me up

Jeremy: goddamnit

Lesbiabs: has this gc just turned into a “michael and jeremy are gay but deFINITELY NOT FOR EACH OTHER NO HOMO” exchange

[C changed the group chat title to “michael and jeremy are gay but deFINITELY NOT FOR EACH OTHER NO HOMO exchange”]

M: oI

Jeremy: we’rE NOT GAY WE’RE BISEXUAL

[C changed the group chat title to “michael and jeremy are bi but deFINITELY NOT FOR EACH OTHER NO HOMO exchange”]

M: much better thank u


	8. eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coNNOR FINISHED THE MILKKKKKK
> 
> tw: internalised homophobia, feeling guilty for your emotions (is there a word for that?????), yelling (?), abuse ment, panic attack ment, relapsing ment, self harm ment, slutshaming???(does it count if it's directed at pizza?????)

Jazz band to michael and jeremy are bi but deFINITELY NOT FOR EACH OTHER NO HOMO exchange

[ Friday, February 18, 07:23 ]

Jazz band: ayyyyy good morning love the chat title and my gf

Jazz band: she is so beautiful!!!!

Jazz band: going back to sleep bye

[ Friday, February 18, 07:41 ]

Rich: do any of you go to school like ever

Slushies: hey we can’t judge I mean we’re skipping too

Rich: point taken

[ Friday, February 18, 07:58 ]

Jeremy: I miss michael ://

Jeremy: he’s not tECHNICALLY supposed to have his phone @ the hospital but he uses it w/ supervision during free time so I'll haVE TO WAIT TILL FOUR THIRTY TO TEXT HIM UGHHHHH

[ Friday, February 18, 08:14 ]

Slushies: so heterosexual

Slushies: much straight

Rich: look dude please think about where your dick has been in the past 24 hours before shaming the bisexuals

Slushies: okay true

[ Friday, February 18, 08:19 ]

C: ew

C: please don’t say thINGS L[IKE THAT RICH

Jeremy: im bi, jake, this is erasure ://

 

Jeremy to M: hey man u don't gotta answer but I was wondering,,

Jeremy: ik you said you “fucked up” a lot before what happened so I was wondering what that was about??

Jeremy: u dont gotta answer

 

Jeremy to “michael and jeremy are bi but deFINITELY NOT FOR EACH OTHER NO HOMO exchange”: you guys are all terrible

Rich: I know <3

Slushies: are y'all seeing this????? My bf is hitting on Michael’s soon-to-be-bf!!!!!

C: leave hIM ALONE HE’S JUST BONDING W/ JEREMY

Alana: asghjkl I lov my gf

Jazz band: love u too babe

Jeremy: I wanna hug :((

Jeremy: I made a realise and

Jeremy: hug

Rich: want me to come over??

Jeremy: sure

Jeremy: love u

Rich: ly2

 

[ Friday, February 18, 11:57 ]

Rich: so you love michael

Jeremy: im in the next room???

Rich: you love michael

Jeremy: …yeah

Rich: *sophomore me voice* OnLy ThInG mOrE pAtHetIc iS tHe WaY yOu’Re SnEaKiNg InTo A StAlL tO gEt aWaY fRoM mE

Jeremy: afdxcgjkh

Rich: so you love him.

Rich: what’re u gna do about it?????

Jeremy: nothing

Jeremy: he’s in love with this starstripe guy

Jeremy: i dont want to get in the middle of that

Rich: …

Jeremy: what?????

Rich: look dude hear me out

Rich: what if

Rich: starstripe

Rich: was

Rich: you

Rich: listen to me u dumbass

Jeremy: as if

Jeremy: he’s not ever gna like me back???I should just accept that.

Rich: pffff

Rich: so u’ve talked a lOT about why you love him

Rich: but what you haven't said

Rich: is when you realized you did

Rich: jere

Rich: you there??????

Rich: I'm getting worried about what you’re doing in the bathroom

Jeremy: im fucking your boyfriend leave us alone

Rich: ://

Jeremy: ok sorry I was crying

Jeremy: I realized

Jeremy: well

Jeremy: when we were talking about how much we love guys

Jeremy: I kind of realized

Jeremy: fuck im talking about him

Jeremy: and it all kinda

Jeremy: fell into place?????

Rich: ask him out then dumbass

Jeremy: no

Rich: what could you lose?????

Jeremy: a friendship

Rich: oR you could gain a boyf

Rich: it’s your choice dude but

Rich: if I was u I'd ask him out

Rich: jake took a chance & asked me out & look where we are now

Jeremy: jerking each other off under the table at a froyo place?

Rich: exactly

Jeremy: [michael_prom.jpg] remember when we crashed prom?????

Rich: jeremy it was like 2 weeks ago

Jeremy: look! at! him! I'm dying dude

Rich: I see him??

Jeremy: look if I had a dick id be beating my meat

Rich: KJFDHGDHG TMI

Jeremy: <3

Jeremy: important information

Rich: not as important as my INNOCENCE!!!!!

Jeremy: but look at him

Jeremy: look

Jeremy: are u seeing this?????

Jeremy: l o o k

Rich: u gna say anything meaningful or

Jeremy: i’d die for him

Rich: wanna come out now

Rich: of thE BATHROOM FDGDFJHKJL

Jeremy: rich… I'm bisexual

Rich: now can u /physically/ come out

Jeremy: of my cage and I been doing just fine

 

[ Friday, February 18, 13:47 ]

Jeremy to michael and jeremy are bi but deFINITELY NOT FOR EACH OTHER NO HOMO exchange: CCCCCMON CCCCCMON GO GO

Jeremy: CCCCMON CCCCMON GO GO

Jeremy: IM WAITING FOR MICHAELLLL

Rich: gay

Lesbiabs: I'll save ur fingers jeremy he’s bi

Jeremy: what

Lesbiabs: bc you type it so mcuh???? And you’re bi????

Jeremy: ohhhh got it lmao thanks

Lesbiabs: welcome

Adhdrama: be quiet rich, I think it’s sweet

Jeremy: thANKs chRISTINe

Adhdrama: nO PROB BOB

 

[ Friday, February 18, 16:30 ]

M to Jeremy: i fucked up so bad hang on

M: so first Zoe and I were hanging out and you know how her brother’s abusive??? and yells at her??? and tries to hit her and shit??? I fucked up real bad jerey

M: I yelled and 

M: it was a joke but

M: she was so scared

M: and tthen I was alone to think about myself and

M: I was playing my life out and I realized I'm a terrible person for liking someone who doesn't care about me like /that/ and for not just getting the fuck over it and then I was thinking how i always fuck everything up just like I relapsed last week and then it was all so much and it was too much and I couldn't take it

Jeremy: im so sorry

Jeremy: you’re not a bad person though!!

Jeremy: you fucke dup a little bit. but everyone makes mistakes all right??? and zoe’s not mad.

Jeremy: you’re not bad for liking someone mikey that’s bullshit. you have emOTIONS that literally 99% of teenagers feel!!!!!

Jeremy: im sorry u had to go through all this

Jeremy: I love you bro

M: love you too 

 

M to michael and jeremy are bi but deFINITELY NOT FOR EACH OTHER NO HOMO exchange: so Rich, u get any good Jake dick recently?

Rich: I haven’t spoken to you in a whole day and that’s what you greet me with.

M: you’re like rabbits

M: admit it

Rich: “Rich: look dude please think about where your dick has been in the past 24 hours before shaming the bisexuals”

Rich: that was to Jake

Rich: you have a valid point bro

M: sEE?????

M: I cant believe,,,

Lesbiabs: mICHAEL’S ONLINE AND MAKING INNUENDOES WHOOPEE

M: that wasn't an innuendo I literally asked “hey rich u had sex” and he was like “yeah”

C: be nice to my girlfriend

M: iM sOrRy

Jenna: Chloe be nice to mikey

M: if any of you call me mikey ever again I s2g i’ll kill u

Jeremy: okay mikey

Jazz band: kinky

Slushies: fuck u I was gna say that

Jeremy: it’s not kinky I just wanna die

M: KJHFDGKHDJ

C: oh my god 

Lesbiabs: mood

Lesbiabs: buuuuut maybe bad timing?????

Jeremy: fuck ur right

Jeremy: sorry mikey

M: np jeres

Dustin: I cant believe u have nicknames for each other

Dustin: that's so grossly cute

M: it’S PLATONIC

Rich: (while sucking dick) plATO N I C

Slushies: babe,,,

Slushies: …

Rich: <3

Jeremy: im cOLD

M: are u gna say ur “need a guy” thing again

Jeremy: yeah

M: miah pls

Rich: “miah”?????

M: short for jeremiah

Rich: no I meant

Rich: look. I'm the most bisexual person on the planet

Rich: I recognize my kind

Rich: hey. jeremy. question

Rich: left hand

Rich: or right

Jeremy: in theory or in practice

C: can you PLEASE take this somewhere else?!!?!?!

Jenna: wait, I'm curious now

Rich: in theory

Jeremy: left?????

Rich: you’re wrong

Slushies: your opinion is INCORRECT

M: opinions can't be right or wrong jAKE

Slushies: in thiS CASE?????

Slushies: wait or are u a lefty

Jeremy: i’m a lefty??

Slushies: fuck sorry

Slushies: I assumed u were a righty lmao

Jeremy: it’s fine?????

Jeremy: this is the strangest thing anyone’s apologized for but okay

M: one time you knocked a bowl off the counter and I said sorry

Jeremy: that was your faulT MICHAEL

M: oH YEAH HOW WAS IT

Jeremy: didn't think that through fuck uhhhh

Jazz band: gkjdfhgkjh

Jazz band: guys look at this bullshit [connorreceipts.jpg]

// 

_Jazz band: god damn it Connor_

_Connor_: whAT DID I DO?????_

_Jazz band: [emptymilk.jpg] yoU FINISHED THE GODDAMN MILK!!!_

_Connor_: zoe i am a growing man need me those calories_

_Jazz band: foR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE LET ME HAVE SOME MILK OH MY GOD_

_Connor_: get to the milk before me?????_

_Jazz band: I came downstairs at 3 in the morning to see you chugging the fucking milk cONNOR_

_Connor_: hEY MAYBE I MAKE BAD DECISIONS SOMETIMES!!!_

_Jkleinman: connor what the FUCK I needed the milk_

_Connor_: dare I ask why?_

_Jkleinman: I waS GOING TO WASH DOWN THE BATHBOMBS W/ THAT FUCK U_

_Connor_: why would you_

_Connor_: I_

_Tree boy: Hey, leave Connor alone. He doesn’t know about your bathbomb kink_

_Jazz band: oh my god_

_Jazz band: jared for the love of god please tell me he’s kidding_

_Jazz band: jared_

_Jazz band: JA R E D_

_Jkleinman: sorry I was having hot sex with a bath bomb_

_Connor_: thanks! I hate it_

//

M: JKHKJGHJKFGV

Jeremy: “he doesn’t know about your bathbomb kink”

C: oh my god

Jenna: ooh who’s tree boy??

Jazz band: my ex. his name’s evan. he's a dork & I love him

M: does he like trees

Jazz band: if it were possible I think he'd fuck a tree

Rich: I mean it is possible,

Jazz band: ANYWAY

Jazz band: Connor’s been better like I try stirring him up & he hasn't been violent for a while so?

Adhdrama: that’s good!!

M: guys I'm gay!

Adhdrama: for?????

M: pizza

Adhdrama: me too

Adhdrama: pizza is my non binary partner =P

Adhdrama: and yours too ig

Adhdrama: that was we’re both gay for it

M: pizza uses it/its pronouns?

Adhdrama: yep!

M: okay! I love it with my whole heart <3

Jeremy: hey can I date pizza too?

Adhdrama: yep! It’s an open relationship

Rich: I would too but I feel like at that point it would just mean pizza’s a slut

Slushies: not if I date it too

C: don’T SLUTSHAME PIZZA, RICH

C: things I never thought id type

Lesbiabs: [mechuggingslushy.jpg]

Jenna: look at the girl I have the blessing of dating

Lesbiabs: <3

C: <3

C: love u guys

Jenna: ly2

Lesbiabs: love u too chloe

Jeremy: im gay too!!!!!!

M: boob

M: *boo

M: happy halloween

Jeremy: it’s february

M: HAPPY FUCKIN HALLOWEEN FUCK U

Jeremy: fuck u too <3

M: <3

Jazz band: sorry to break into the homosexuality but

Jazz band: anyone mind if I add jared and evan??

Jazz band: evan’s sweet and jared’s a sarcastic little shit so jake should love him

Slushies: sdfghjkl

Rich: noT AS MUCH AS ME JACOB GRAYSON DILLINGER 

Slushies: idk bro idk

Rich: he can't be meaner than my bf go ahead


	9. nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: self hatred, mentions of a suicide attempt, mention of self harm, internalized homopgobia
> 
> i love these nerds sm u wouldnt believe

[Jazz band has added tree boy and jkleinman to the chat]

Jazz band: hey nerds do ur introduction thing that u did w/ me and Alana

M: ayyy im michael, he/him, currently in a mental hospital, I'm bi and single but also taken bc I'm in love with this guy and I never fuckin shut up about it. I love apocalypse of the damned??? And mtn dew red

Jeremy: im jeremy, he/him, bi, trans, married to pornhub, uhhhh be aware that the others on this chat spread LIES and my fursona is nOT a dolphin

C: im chloe, she/her, pan, and jenna and brooke are my girlfriends

Slushies: im jake, he/him, I'm pan but I lean towards dudes, I'm really hecking tall,,, yeah thats it

Rich: im rich, he/him, I'm bISEXUAL AF, I'm dating jake, and I'm very short. also I make lots of bi puns

Lesbiabs: im brooke!! she/her, I'm pan but it’s like a 98% split to girls (hence the username) & I love my girlfs

Dustin: yooooo I'm dustin I'm a guy I'm gay and I smoke weed

Adhdrama: i’m christine! she/her pronouns, and I'm ace and bi but I lean towards girls! my special interest is theatre so I'm not gna stfu about it lmao

Jenna: I'm jenna! she/her, I'm a trans lesbian (I like boys but it’s 99% girls so I just say lesbian) and I love my girlfs also christine is a ray of sunshine I love her please love her with me

Adhdrama: <3 love u jenna

Jenna: ly2 chris

Jkleinman: I guess I'm going first bc evan’s a wimp. I'm jared, he/him, I am gAY, and by that I mean I LOVE BOYS, DUDES, AND BROS, GUYS ARE GREAT, IM A HOMOSEXUAL, also I'm a dick like really I'm terrible lmaooooo 

Tree boy: I'm Evan ? Um he/him or they/them and bi I guess ? And I love trees, they’re my special interest. Also I'm anxious so go easy on me ??

Adhdrama: yeah of course Evan!

M: jared im gay let’s talk about dudes

Jkleinman: I love them, all of them. very hot. very cute. good.

M: ah I see you're a man of culture as well

Jkleinman: I LOVE THAT MEME

[Jazz band changed the group chat title to “connor finished the milk”]

Tree boy: Lmao :P

Jazz band: goddamnit connor

Jkleinman: I neEDED THE MILK

Jkleinman: FOR MY BREAKFAST

Lesbiabs: of bath bombs?

Jkleinman: lov the cronch

[Jkleinman has changed their name to Jk]

C: isn’t that really bad for you?

Jk: I dont rly care at this point tbh

Tree boy: you okay?

Jk: yeah I’m fine just cronchin on a bath bomb all alone ~

Tree boy: I can come over?

Jk: but will u eat a bath bomb w/ me?

Tree boy: Probably not

Jk: [a square image full of nine squares. The outer squares are pictures of the face of connor murphy, while the middle square is of evan hansen. The text reads “he ate bath bombs (on evan’s square)NOT YOU (back to connor) when nobody else would”]

Tree boy: …

Jk: you are so welcome

Tree boy: Can I send that to Connor ?

Jk: yeah go ahead! lmao

Tree boy: He ssaid, “tell jared I s2g if he evER says something like that again I will destroy him”

Tree boy: Kinky

Jk: oH MY GOD

Jazz band: I KNEW YOU WERE CAPABLE OF SAYING THINGS THAT WEREN’T NICE!!!

M: im YELLIN

Jeremy: iconic

Jk: THAT’S WHAT I SAY YOU LACTOSE INTOLERANT FUCK

Adhdrama: hey be nice

Tree boy: Thanks Christine

Tree boy: i’m not lactose intolerant ?

Jk: idk man I feel like if u were lactose intolerant you would be

Tree boy: what ?

Jk: I doNT know nevermind

Jk: lmao im soRRY

Tree boy: it’s okay :)

M: “kinky”

[Jeremy has changed the chat title to “kinky”]

Slushies: yeah you’d know all about that

Jeremy: I s2g if this is another furry joke

Slushies: dolphin ;)

Jeremy: I hATE YOU SO MUCH

M: there’s more

Jeremy: michael what the fuck

M: ;) ;) ;)

Rich: boyf

Slushies: riends

Tree boy: Wait are you guys dating ?

M: nah lmao

Rich: they will be

Jeremy: we’re not

M: wait

M: rICH

Rich: just telling the truth boys

Tree boy: Lmaoo

Jeremy: oh my god

M: anyway

M: im gay

Jeremy: Michael we know

M: you’re bi

Jeremy: Michael… I know

Tree boy: Not to be fake deep or anything but I wish I could be that comfortable in being not-straight? Idk sorry I'm being annoying sorry

Jk: you’re not being annoying

Jk: and hell, I've felt like that and my dad’s supportive asf

Jk: you don't gotta feel bad for being bi but if you do feel bad you shouldn't feel bad about that either if that makes sense??

Jk: idk man I'm here for u

Tree boy: You’re too good to be friends with someone like me

Jk: it’s the other way around buddy

Jk: you deserve someone much better than me

M: can you guys’ ship name be “trees and sex jokes”

Tree boy: …yes

Jk: I second this

Rich: hey boyf riends, a new challenger is approaching

M: we aren’t even dating, rich

Rich: a NeW cHaLlEnGeR iS aPpRoAcHiNg, MiChAeL

Jeremy: but

Rich: a NeW cHaLlEnGeR iS aPpRoAcHiNg

Jk: you heard the man, Jeremy

Jeremy: I'm being bullied

Alana: realtalk tho im a lesbian

Lesbiabs: me too Alana

Alana: im A LESBIAM

Alana: A LESBIAB

Alana: LEBSIAB

Alana: LOVE GITLS

Alana: GIRLLS

Alana: GRILLS

Alana: GIRLS

Lesbiabs: take your time honey

Alana: :((

Jenna: I understand where ur coming from alana

Jenna: or should I say

Jenna: why

C: jENNA

Alana: thAT TOOK ME A SECOND JENNA WHY WOULD Y

Lesbiabs: kgjhhdjsf

Jenna: im hilarious

Dustin: that doesn't even make sense

C: #justlesbianthings

Lesbiabs: #onlylesbiansunderstand

M: this is homophobia :(

Jk: it’s almost as bad as finishing the milk

Jazz band: goddamnit

Adhdrama: hey Jared why do u eat bath bombs?

Jk: lov the cronch

Tree boy: I would pay so much money for you to never say that phrase again

Jk: and yet, here we are

Jazz band: [connoreyeliner.jpg]

Rich: nice

Slushies: rich oh my god

Jazz band: he’s not being a dick today so I did his eyeliner

M: aww

M: shit I g2g my time is up ://

Jeremy: text you tomorrow bro love u

M: love u 2

Jazz band: otp

Jeremy: idk where the eye roll emoji is but if I knew I'd be using it rn

Jeremy: also not to be the guy to slide into the gc and be depressing but I feel like shit lmao

Jeremy: im not in a good place lmao

Rich: ay need to talk?

Jeremy: I mean I need to get stoned and mcfucking railed but talking works too

Rich: pms?

Jeremy: yeah

 

Rich to Jeremy: so

Rich: what’s up?

Rich: dw if u think ur bothering me bc a) i’ll be here for u forever and b) i’m literally not doing anything. my boyfriend is asleep on my bed and I'm watching shitty food channel shows

Jeremy: thanks I think

Jeremy: fUCK

Jeremy: gimme a sec this is a Lot

Jeremy: so I got this fuckin chemical imbalance shit that makes my fuckin brain waves go wacko (in other words I'm mentally ill) and my beautiful & completely perfect friend — jUST friend — is in the mcfucking hospital because he tried to kill himself because I WASNT THERE TO HELP AND I WASNT THERE I WASNT THERE

and god I'm just a hopeless loser and he’s the sun and the stars and I don't know why not everyone in the world is in love with him and he’s got like, /interests/ and a /personality/ and I've got fucking pormhub and his red hoodie by my pillow.

And I'm never gonna be part of anything — I don't know, not part of the world? — like he is. I'm never gonna be okay and I'm never gonna get better and ill always pale in comparison to his light and even if we were to get together it would go terribly because he’d realise finally that he can DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME!!!!!

IT’S ALL BULLSHIT THOUGH BECAUSE IM TOO WORTHLESS TO EVER BE FUCKING LOVED BY SOMEONE LIKE HIM SO I DONT KNOW WHY I EVEN BROUGHT IT UP

AND I FEEL SO EMPTY AND ALONE AND HE’S GONE AND I FUCKED UP AND COULDNT HELP HIM AND IM DOOMED TO BE FUCKING USELESS FOREVER SO I DONT KNOW WHY I EVEN TRY

I dont know why I'm even alive anymore I'm stupid and worthless and I'm fucking dirty I have a crush on my best friend, I jerked off to my best friend, rich, who does that???? I'm a fucking horrible person I shOULD DIE ALREADY I GET IT NOW I GET WHY HIGH SCHOOLERS ARE SUCH SHIT TO ME, IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF THEM IT’S BECAUSE OF ME

IM SORRY IM FUCKING UP YOUR SHITTY-FOOD-NETWORK-WATCHING TIME IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY

everyone deserves so much better than someone like me

Rich: fuck

Rich: fuck fuck fuck

Rich: ik we’re Bros and very Manly and Heterosexual but real talk for a second

Rich: do you think you're in danger of hurting yourself?

 

Jeremy to Jeremy: it looms like,,, I don't know, like something looms?

Jeremy: the question looms over my head like the blinking red lights of an exit sign

Jeremy: yes good

 

Rich to Jeremy: I'm sorry bro I just gotta make sure you’ll be okay

Jeremy: I

Jeremy: I dont know

Jeremy: at the moment it doesn’t feel likely?

Jeremy: but

Jeremy: it’s been a shit week

Jeremy: I've thougtabout it but

Jeremy: I dont know I'm sorry

Rich: you can come over tonight if u want

Jeremy: I dont want to ruin ur night bc of my problems

Rich: you’re coming fucking over

Rich: I'll pick u up at 8

Jeremy: an hour to get ready?????

Jeremy: dude I gotta ,,, 

Jeremy: i’ll be ready

 

Tree boy to connor finished the milk: COnnor’s so sweet sometimes he just texted me a picture of a tree and asked me to tell him what kind of tree it is

Adhdrama: awwww

Tree boy: yeah <3

Jk: are you gonna date him bc he better not go breaking ur heart

Tree boy: we’re just friends, Jared

Jk: I mean in the future

Tree boy: probably not ? But we’ll see

Jk: if he hurts you i will hurt him right back i swear to fcuking jesus

Tree boy: thanks :)

Jk: I mean it


	10. ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in the distance u can hear jeremiah heere screaming "im nOT GAY FOR MICHAEL IM BI"

[ Saturday, February 19, 05:02 ]

Jeremy: mICHAEL COMES BACK TOMORROWWWWWW

Slushies: YEAH BOIIIII

Jeremy: mICHAEL WHEN U READ THIS I MISS U

Slushies: gay

 

[ Saturday, February 19, 09:22 ]

Jeremy to Rich: cant believe I'm texting u while ur in the shower

Jeremy: but

Jeremy: thank u???? for letting me come over & for taking care of me????idk sorry

Rich: it’s np dude

Rich: im just drying my hair & suffering

Rich: but I s2g if u make me get water on my phone I'll kill u

Jeremy: please

Rich: kinky

Jeremy: text cancelled

Rich: gafkshdgjkfsz

Jeremy: seriously though

Jeremy: thanks for listening to me talk about my life and then playing call of duty until three

Rich: dude seriously id do almost anything for u

Jeremy: bless

Jeremy: ly

Rich: ly2

Jeremy: also bro

Jeremy: when michael comes back all i'm gna want to do is make out w/ him and play stupid games and look at his smile and fUCK idk if I'm strong enough

Rich: gay

Rich: but bro

Rich: if you wanna solve this problem you know what you gotta do?

Jeremy: no?

Rich: ask!him!out!!!!!

Jeremy: no!!!!!

Rich: yes!!!!!!

Jeremy: no!!!!!

Rich: YES!!!!!!

Jeremy: if u can give me firsthand confirmation that he likes me I will

Rich: [lovesick_michael.jpg]

Jeremy: that’s michael looking like a fucking god in the sunlight

Rich: look at his face!!!

Jeremy: I see???

Rich: he’s looking at you

Jeremy: oh

Rich: do you see the look in his eyes?

Jeremy: that’s just friendship bro

Rich: jeremiah heere, I love you, but you are a dumbass

Jeremy: uh thanks?

Rich: he’s in love with you

Rich: please

Rich: just ask him out

Rich: trust me

Jeremy: cite your fuckin sources dude

Rich: you’re intolerable

Jeremy: I know <3

 

Jenna to connor finished the milk: hey u know what word I rly hate?

Lesbiabs: pls don’t say mo*st

Jenna: nah I was gonna say c*ck

Lesbiabs: yOURE RIGHT FUCK

Jenna: I HATE THAT WORD SO MUCH

Jenna: DICK IS A PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE WORD JUST USE IT GODDAMN

Rich: you’re right

Slushies: cock is a fine word idk what y’all’re talking about

Rich: babe we're breaking up

Slushies: im jOKING

Rich: I knOW

Jazz band: I agree with Jake

Alana: I'm with Jenna so fuck u zoe

Dustin: I'm w/ Jake

Tree boy: team Jenna over here

Jk: cOCK COCK COCK(team Jake)

Tree boy: Jared I don’t think we can be friends anymore

Jk: boyfriends instead? ;)

Tree boy: KDJFHHHJGHHGHBHH

C: team Jenna over here too

Adhdrama: I'm on team Jenna

Jenna: that’s seven for me, four for Jake. I win. none of y’all are ever gna say the c word again

Lesbiabs: OH THANK GOD

Jenna: wait where’s jeremy???

Jeremy: I'm on ur side Jenna dw

Jenna: thank god lmao

Jeremy: not to break up the conversation but!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy: I came up w/ an idea to call my crush. like how Michael calls his starstripe? Mine will be redphones 

Jeremy: a pUN ON HEADPHONES GEDDIT

Jenna: okay big mood

Rich: yes I get it jeremy. I get it. we ALL get it, jeremy. Ha ha ha

Tree boy: Rich be nice, I think it’s cute

Adhdrama: me too Evan

Jeremy: the thing is

Jeremy: actually Rich? im taking this to my pining chat (otherwise known as pm’s)

Rich: I cant believe im ur pining chat

 

Jeremy to Rich: I just feel like if I was more attractive I could just be a fuckbuddy or whatever and that would be horrible but better than nothing because even if I'm being used it has to be enough, right? but I'm not pretty enough for someone like him so uwu

Rich: bro you’re so incorrect gimme a sec

 

Adhdrama to Jeremy: ily

Jeremy: ily2

 

Rich to Jeremy: first of all no homo but you are!!!!pretty. secondly u deserve so!much!more! than to be used. okay? if he doesn't like u thats his own problem

 

Adhdrama: to Jeremy: bro can I ask a question???

 

Jeremy to Rich: thank u

Jeremy: ims orry im being annoying & relying on u for emotional support lmao

Rich: you’re not annoying me & it’s okay bro

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: yeah sure hit me with it

Adhdrama: so u know what a qpr is right?? A queer platonic relationship??

Jeremy: yeah??why??

Adhdrama: god damn it jeremy

Adhdrama: do u wanna be queer-platonic-partners w/ me

Jeremy: hELL YEAH GIRL

Adhdrama: LET’S GO BOYO

Jeremy: love u

Adhdrama: love you too <3

Jeremy: ilysm

Adhdrama: ilysm2tysm

 

Rich to Jeremy: you still there?

Jeremy: yeah sorry I was texting christine

Jeremy: tysm love u bro

Rich: ly2 bro

 

[ Sunday, February 20, 12:33 ]

Jeremy: MICHAEL’S COMING BACK

Jeremy: GUYS

Jeremy: mICHAEL’S COMING BACK IM SO HAPPY

M: I’M COMING BACK!!!

Jeremy: I’LL MEET YOU AT YOUR HOUSE BRO TELL ME WHEN UR READY

 

[ Sunday, February 20, 12:52 ]

M: IM READY COME OVER ASSHOLE

Jeremy: glADLY

 

[ Sunday, February 20, 14:08 ]

Rich: HELLOOOOOOO

Rich: this is a GROUP CHAT

Rich: aRE YOU GUYS HAVING FUN OR?????

Jeremy: we are having plenty of fun Rich now shut the fuck up I'm enjoying quality time with my bro

Rich: jAKE GET IN HERE JEREMY IS MEAN

Rich: plenty of fun you say? ;)

Jeremy: chRISTINE GET IN HERE RICH IS MEAN

Adhdrama: dONT FUCKING MAKE FUN OF MY PAL

Slushies: hE MADE FUN OF MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!

Lesbiabs: oh god what did u start

Rich: I started nOTHING, BROOKE

Lesbiabs: yOU INTERROGATED JEREMY AND THEN CALLED ON YOUR BF TO BAIL U OUT

Slushies: be nice to my boyfriend Brooke or I will destroy your makeup palettes 

Lesbiabs: why would you sAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT???? JAKE I TRUSTED YOU!!!!!

Jenna: I CANT BELIEVE YOU FUCKING THREATENED MY GIRLF JAKE YOU’RE GOING TO HELL AND IM SENDING YOU THERE

C: mE TOO JAKE YOU’RE GONNA GET IT THIS TIME

Slushies: ((someone explain why they like makeup so much))

Rich: ((fun to put on, very expensive))

Slushies: ((got it))

Jazz band: OKAY IM NOT PART OF THE TRIO™ BUT JAKE FUCK U FOR THREATENING TO DESTROY MAKEUP THAT SHITS EXPENSIVE

Jk: even I am upset by this

Jk: u done fucked up Jakey

Rich: yeah fcuked /me/ up

Lesbiabs: oh my god

Jk: plaese

Jazz band: just one day w/o a sex joke pleASE

Slushies: jisdhuggyiohj RICH

Rich: y’ALL IM TRYIN MY BEST

C: yeah to get laid

Jenna: leave my girlf’s makeup alone or I will strangle u

Jk: kinky

Tree boy: Jared please

Jk: ;)

Tree boy: Jared…

Jk: ;))

Tree boy: Ple a s e

Slushies: ;)))

Tree boy: Oh my god

Jk: ;))))

Tree boy: Please never text me again

Slushies: ;)))))

Tree boy: Someone help

Lesbiabs: no this is funny

Jk: ;))))))

Tree boy: save me


	11. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi idk how many of u know this but i'm absolute TRASH for kleinsen so,,,,,here's an entire chapter dedicated to my boys,,,,,
> 
> tw: disordered eating, ocd, ednos, self hatred, internalized homophobia, anxiety attacks, verbal/emotional abuse, homophobia, escapism?, physical assault, implied sexual assault, drug use(?)

 

 

[ Monday, February 21, 07:22 ]

Tree boy to Jk: Hey I'm sorry to be annoying but my mom left early for work and I missed the bus so do you think I could catch a ride with you ? I'm sorry

Jk: it's ok! i can be there in ten?

Tree boy: That should be good thanks Jared

Jk: np dude

Tree boy: I can pay you back for gas ???

Jk: shut the fuck up evan you don’t gotta pay me back I AM YOUR FRIEND

Tree boy: Family friend

Tree boy: Isn’t that what you always say ?

Jk: how am I supposed to tell you that none of my ~camp friends~ actually give a shit when I have a reputation to keep up?????I never see you anymore bro & the best way t deal w/ it is to call you a family friend :/

Tree boy: Oh

Tree boy: I didn’t

Tree boy: oh

Jk: hhh am I still good to pick u up tho

Tree boy: Yes ! Sorry

Jk: it’s fine bruh I kinda unloaded shit on u

Tree boy: Sorry

Jk: why are you apologizing

Jk: is 10m too soon??

Tree boy: No it’s okay I'm almost ready I promise sorry

Jk: no I mean if u need a couple minutes once I get there u can have them

Jk: it takes 10m to get to school & we have a half hour before we gotta be there

Tree boy: Are you ready ?

Jk: kind of?

Jk: I didnt have breakfast but i didn't want 2 be at home so i just skipped

Jk: i drive/walk around for a while in the mornings usually

Tree boy: Wait are you texting and driving ?

Tree boy: Also why don’t you want to be at home ?

Tree boy: No you don’t have to answer that I'm sorry that probably was too much I'm sorry

Jk: no i’m parked to the side of the road to your house bc ive been in the area for a while

Jk: and my parents are,,not good? so I just need to be aloNE for a while you know?

Tree boy: You’re welcome to sleep over here anytime ? My mom’s not home in the mornings on monday, wednesday, friday, or saturday. It’s kinda lonely tbh

Tree boy: sorry if I interrupted your quiet time

Tree boy: You can pick me up now if you want ?

Tree boy: I don’t mind

Tree boy: I'll bring you a cinnamon roll ?

Jk: I'm there

Tree boy: Actually

Tree boy: If you want to stay in to eat ? Or sit on the porch ?

Jk: sure

Jk: thanks buddy

Jk: porch works for me if it works for you?

Tree boy: I'll be there

 

[ Monday, February 21, 09:58 ]

Tree boy: Jared im so ssorry I'm a mess today i’m sorry bbut I ccouldnt go tto geometry class bc I was having an anxiety attack and now i’’m having a worse anxiety attack in the bathroom by myself lol but do u think u could bring m the hw by my llocker after class i’m sorry

Jk: which bathroom

Tree boy: second ffloor by the gender neutral one,, why ?

Jk: im gna drop by if that’s okay

Jk: i have the hw and also emotional support

Jk: and sex jokes lbr that’s my real talent

Tree boy: Are ou sure ?

Jk: look dude even if I liked geo i wld be there

Tree boy: Okay

Jk: which stall?

Tree boy: tthe big one

Jk: thanks tree buddy

 

[ Monday, February 21, 12:28 ]

Jk: ayyyyy lunch is hecking boring when u dont have friends

Tree boy: I'd come down and see u but I feel bad missing more than one class i’ms orry

Jk: it’s okay bro

Jk: what class u in?

Tree boy: biology

Jk: rip

Tree boy: It’d be fun but,,,the teacher. Ugh

Jk: fake an illness

Tree boy: No !! I can’t lie to the teachers !! Where would I even go ?

Jk: [treezzz.jpg] this is my favourite place behind the school

Tree boy: I thought you were at lunch ?

Jk: it’s loud in there

Jk: I might just skip after lunch ends lmao

Jk: cant deal w educational bullshit anymore

Jk: I'm so tired

Jk: and hungry

Jk: dizzy too tbh

Jk: wish I was high ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

Jk: sorry

Jk: I'll stop now I'm being annoying

Tree boy: No it’s okay !!

Tree boy: The teacher was looking at me, that’s all

Tree boy: Skipping school isn’t ~good~ but if u need a mental health day you should take one

Tree boy: How much sleep did u get ? Have u eaten since breakfast ?

Tree boy: Ik u don't care but uh weed iS illegal at our age

Jk: I need the sweet release of death but nobody lettin me have that ://

Jk: I didn’t? sleep? well i slept for like an hour, hour and a half, but I had a nightmare and woke up & didn’t want to deal with it and I haven’t eaten anything in like 3 days except that cinnamon roll it’s fine though lmao sorry

Tree boy: Jared, you have to take care of yourself

Tree boy: Once lunch ends I'll bring you a granola bar ???

Tree boy: And for the love of jesus, sleep tonight

Jk: evan, you’re jewish

Jk: and I

Jk: it’s complicated

Jk: I can't eat atm

Jk: im sorry

Jk: I'll sleep once my doom has come upon me

Tree boy: “It’s complicated” Jared what the hell does that mean ?

Jk: I can’t do it Evan I can't do it rn

Jk: I can't sleep either

Jk: im a mess

Tree boy: Can you explain “it’s complicated” while I drive you to my house bc I don’t want someone who hasn’t slept to drive a car ?

Jk: maybe

Jk: ok im lying I cant do it in person sorry bro

Jk: can i

Jk: can i maybe sleep over tonight?

Tree boy: Yeah of course!

Jk: what about your mom?

Tree boy: Not home tonight & she texted me saying she wouldn’t be at home till tomorrow afternoon anyway

Jk: okay

Jk: I'll ask my parents even tho they won’t care ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯

Jk: fuck I said I was gna stop saying those kinda things

Jk: sorry

Tree boy: Dude seriously are you okay ?????

Jk: I'll explain later

Jk: in a longer, much more depressing text

Jk: and then i’ll meet you at your place and pretend like it never happened

Tree boy: okay

[ Monday, February 21, 13:02 ]

Jk: there are certain things,,I have to do? like before/after eating and when I can and stuff. I can’t eat lunch, idk why, I cant do it. I cant eat when the sun has been up or down for over two hours. I cant eat anything with vegetables in it and if i break any of the ‘rules’ i have to exercise or I will actually throw up i can't do it like I want to I want to stop this I really want to stop this but I can't do it Evan I'm so weak I can't even fight my own mind. sometimes I just forget to eat bcit’s so much work and what for????? And I cant be at home bc my parens are so homophobic and they hate me and they never stop telling m im not good enough and i can't handle it Evan and I need to get away but I can't get away so all I do is drive and think about the feelings I hide (look up drive by halsey it’s a rly good song, anyway) and i have to sit and think about everything and it hurts bc I wish I could be the laid back annoying little shit everyone thinks i am but I !!! I cant be that kid!!!! that kid’s an agressively straight asshole who felt up an Israeligirl at summer camp when what really happened was a group of kids beat me up for being gay and then made me or they'd do worse and I can't do this anymore im sorry I need an escape and for some reason it’s you so please I know I'm being annoying but please can I come over to your house less than two hours after the sun sets and eat pizza and feel normal for once before I go back to feeling up Israeli girls at summer camp because I'm scared of who I am?

[ Monday, February 21, 14:08 ]

Tree boy: I’m in front of the school we’re talking about this in the car while I drive u to the dollar store to get a toothbrush to keep at my house

Tree boy: You’re getting your own drawer at my house now btw


	12. twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremys a furry

[ Monday, February 21, 17:19 ]

Jk to connor spilled the milk: [evanandme.jpg]

Tree boy: We’re very photogenic

Jk: extremely

M: HEY YOU GAYS GET UR ASSES IN HERE WE GOT SOME BOYS

Slushies: u got slushies w/o me?????

Tree boy: You weren’t there ?

Rich: why didn't u buy my bf a slushy

Slushies: y’know what Rich we can buy our own goddamn slushies

Rich: hell yeah we can

Lesbiabs: u guys r cute no hetero

Jk: so are u no hetero

Jeremy: micHAEL CALLED ME SAYING THERE WAS BOYS & MY EYES HAVE BEEN BLESSED LY

Tree boy: ly2 Jeremy lmao

Jk: Evan just said ‘lmao’????? this calls for a celebration

Tree boy: If u make an alcohol joke Jared I s2g

Jk: goddamnit

Tree boy: I know u well 

Jk: you, from on top of a tree: SEE THIS ASSHOLE??? I HANG OUT WITH HIM VOLUNTARILY PLS FEEL BAD FOR ME

Tree boy: Me, from on top of a tree: hey Jared look at the view! You, from next to me on the tree: yes it is pretty

Jk: thanks I think

Tree boy: I was saying u’d be up there w me too loser

Jk: an lmao AND an insult??? Acorn is stepping up his game

Adhdrama: did you just call Evan an acorn???? This is biphobia

Tree boy: this is TREEPHOBIA

Rich: Jake is a tree

Tree boy: ?

Rich: tall.

Slushies: goddamnit Rich

Slushies: [richandme.jpg]

Tree boy: Now wE ALL HAVE SLUSHIES VOOMP

Slushies: slushies are a bisexual staple and so am I

Tree boy: Okay big mood

Jk: hey acorn aren't we chilling irl

Tree boy: Why do u keep calling me acorn ?

Jk: cause u fell out of a tree

Jk: geddit?????

Tree boy: ://

Jk: ok ok too far

Tree boy: It’s okay

Jk: is it?????

Jk: fuck

Jk: bye guys

Lesbiabs: ?????

C: what just happened?????

Jenna: im not the best at social situations bUT I think evan got upset? maybe at jared’s joke but maybe smth else

Jenna: jared or evan pls update I'm concerned

M: hello children

M: I am here

Lesbiabs: (using hand to hide my face from michael) ugh michael’s here

C: brooke be nICE

Jeremy: be nice to my bro or I'll put bright blue food colouring in your foundation

Lesbiabs: pure fucking evil

Jenna: :(

M: jeremy be nice :(

Jeremy: is it,,,bad,,,that I really really really want to respond to that text with ‘okay daddy’

M: KJHFDSGKJFHD YES

Jenna: JEREMY SOME THINGS JUST STAY IN YOUR HEAD

C: jEREMY PLEASE

M: DO NOT SAY THAT EVER AGAIN JEREMY 

Lesbiabs: THIS IS MY FAULY IM SORRY I MADE U READ THAT  
M: I HOPE TO GOD YOURE KIDDING

Jeremy: oF COURSE IM KIDDING MICHAEL WHO DO YOU THINK I AM

M: FDHGKJDHGKJL THANK GOD

Jeremy: WHY WOULD I BE NOT KIDDING

Rich: ;)

Jeremy: IM TRYIGN MY BES T RICH PL E A S E

Jk: not getting involved in this one

Jk: it’s all good now

Tree boy: We all good now

Jk: well not all good but

Jk: the immediate problem has been solved

Jk: nOT THAT YOURE A PROBLEM EVAN THAT CAME OUT WRONG

Tree boy: It’s ok I catch your drift

Jk: it’s not that hard to catch my drift 

Jk: it’s more of a projectile than a drift

Jeremy: on anoTHER note, ‘would u be so kind’ by dodie is the biGGEST mood

Jk: I COMPLETELY AGREE

Jk: sO MUCH

M: also laura jane grace’s acoustic version of because of the shame from like 2007 im LOVE

Jk: is she the punk one with the book

M: YES SHE WROTE A BOOK CALLED TRANNY AND IT’S GOOD AND SHE’S TRANS AND A LESBIAN ALSO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND HER BAND IS CALLED AGAINST ME! LISTEN TO TRANSGENDER DYSPHORIA BLUES PLE A S E OR DRINKING WITH THE JOCKS OR JUST ANYTHING REALLY IM BEGGING U

Jeremy: im michael’s second favourite person after ljg

M: you’re tied w/ her for first

Jeremy: thats an honour tbh

M: ly

Jeremy: ly2

Lesbiabs: too sweet please stop

M: never

Jazz band: [alanaandme.jpg] my gf and I got slushies too

Alana: hell yeah we did!

Tree boy: hey Jared I have a question ?

Jk: hmu

Tree boy: Why do you have such terrible fashion choices ?

Jk: .,JHFDKXCHFC MEAN

Alana: WOW

C: WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY KDFHGVHDKXJ

Tree boy: Trust me Chloe it was

Jenna: heLLO Y’ALL IM AN ANGSTYGIRL™

Lesbiabs: whats wrong ?????

Jenna: my self esteem

Lesbiabs: okay big mood first of all

Lesbiabs: second

Lesbiabs: :((

Jenna: im Sad

 

Jenna to Lesbiabs: I felt shITTY and

Jenna: I threw up again!!

Jenna: fun times

Lesbiabs: im sorry

Lesbiabs: im so sorry Jenna

Jenna: im okay now

Jenna: well better

Lesbiabs: love u babe

Jenna: ly2 <3

 

M to connor spilled the milk: wow I am ,,,trash

M: I love jily so much

M: why can't I Art

M: I am not talented :(

Jeremy: yes u are mikey stfu

M: im friends with u for ur kindness and delicacy when it comes to my emotions

Jeremy: I know <3

M: <3

Jeremy: loml

M: <33

Jazz band: gay

M: pan

Jazz band: and proud <3

Alana: (anyone who has spent 5 seconds around Zoe ever) yes, we know, you’re pan, you’re pan, you fucking love people of any gender, we get it, you love girls, you love boys, you love enbies, you have a girlfriend, you’re not a lesbian, you’re pan, you are pansexual, you identify as pansexual, you’re not straight, you’re pan, wE KNOW

Alana: love u

Jazz band: love u 2

M: gay

Alana: Im gay

Alana: shes pan

Jazz band: my gf’s a lesbian

C: so is mine

Lesbiabs: which one

C: yeah

M: kfjdhgjvdh

Jeremy: unrelatable content

M: too ooc

Rich: michael you're gay

M: I HAVE

M: A PRIDE PATCH

M: ON

M: MY

M: HOODIE

Rich: thats gay

Slushies: you're gay

Rich: no I'm bi

Slushies: I know

Tree boy: Relatable content

Slushies: he’s right

Jazz band: im pan. thats my contribution 

Slushies: I use them interchangeably for myself tbh but like I id most w/ bipan which is,,literally just a mix of th two lmao also it has a cool flag

Slushies: [bipan.jpg]

Jeremy: you're right Jake

Slushies: thakns Jeremy

Rich: I love my bf he is so tall he is a cup

Jeremy: ?????

Slushies: //deep sigh

Slushies: I hold him

Slushies: …theresa cute boy on my lap now bye

Alana: bye jake

Alana: and rich

Jk: kjhkjhkjhkjhjk mood

Jk: OH WOULD U BE SO KIND AS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME U SEE IM TRYIN I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT I LIKE U BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH SO IF U WOULD PLEASE FALL IN LOVE I THINK IT’S ONLY FAIR THERES GOTTA BE SOME BUTTERFLIES SOMEWHERE WANNA SHARE CAUSE I LIKE YOU BUT THATS NOT ENOUGH SO IF YOU WOULD PLS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

Jk: im tellin y’all it’s a big mood

M: ur right

M: big big mood

Jeremy: starstripe?

M: yep

M: redphones?

Jeremy: yep

Jenna: y'all r gay

Adhdrama: im listening to it and !!!!!!! Love

Adhdrama: cause like there’s this girl that I'd kinda be into and I've known her since like seventh grade & I

Adhdrama: idk y'all im just a humble bisexual

Jeremy: god me too

M: u know who iSNT a humble bisexual?

M: rich

M: also

M: Jeremy i can't believe u vored a supercomputer 

Jeremy: I DID NOT VORE A SUPERCOMPUTER

Jenna: hey jeremy

Jenna: [dolphin.jpg]

Jeremy: all of u are so mean

Tree boy: Ohh yr the one with the dolphin fursona aren’t you !!!

Jeremy: ohhh myyyy godddddd

Jk: KHDFKJGHJDB

Jk: DO L P H I N S

Jk: I dont know how being a furry works

Jenna: pLEASE DONT ASK

Jk: I WASNT GOING TO

Jenna: OKAY THANK GOD

Jk: whY WOULD I ASK THAT JENNA OH MY GOD

Jenna: LJSHDXFKJVHSDJXH JUST MAKING SURE

Jk: JENNA THINKS IM A FURRY

Jk: guYS THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA

Jenna: Jared im literally a lesbian

Jk: yeah me too

Tree boy: Jared you’re a lesbian ? =P

Jk: yes,,,girls,,,I heard of em

Lesbiabs: love the girls

C: all the girls

Jenna: especially christine

Adhdrama: ,,,gay

Jenna: love u

Adhdrama: love u too


	13. thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im gay and im back

 

[ Tuesday, February 22, 14:33 ]

Jenna to connor spilled the milk: yALL I LOVE HAMILTON

Lesbiabs: I thought u were boycotting ????

Jenna: I was

Jenna: bc like what kinda weirdo ships old men from the 1700s

Jenna: and now

Jenna: here I am

Jenna: [delete_260_photos_from_lams_ship?.jpg]

Lesbiabs: oh worm

C: my girls are onlINE

C: I LOVE MY GIRLFS

C: pardon me are you Aaron burr sir

Jenna: no I'm Jenna what u smoking

[Lesbiabs has changed the chat title to “the founding fathers were bi”]

M: worm

[M has changed their name to “my hoodie’s brighter than your future”]

C: no

C: michael

C: no

my hoodie’s brighter than your future: got a problem Chloe?

C: yeah actually my geometry grade’s been slipping

Jenna: pfffffffft

[my hoodie’s brighter than your future has changed their name to uwu]

uwu: chloe, you were saying…

C: NO MICHAEL CHANGE IT BACK

[uwu has changed their name to Mikey]

Mikey: better??????

C: much. thank u

Jazz band: i ship jared and evan

C: *anti-phan voice* don't ship real people uwu <3

Jazz band: KLUEHFDGLKHDJ

Lesbiabs: i dont wanna be That Guy but um,, I cant talk about d&p??? it’s a long story but I was in a bad relationship w/ someone who watched them so now I feel like shit about it and yeah idk sorry

C: fUCk sorry Brooke I forgot

C: babe I'll buy u pink berry

Jazz band: you don't have to explain anything u don't want to

Jenna: I ship them too tho

Jenna: evan and jared I mean

Alana: what about evan and Connor tho

Jazz band: no.

Alana: :((

Jazz band: dhxfkdxk that wouldn't work

Alana: yeah it would, b quiet

Jazz band: the real ship here tho is us

Alana: shit u rite

Tree boy: Why are we shipping each other ?

Jenna: because they're all into voyeurism

Lesbiabs: hey op do u take constructive criticism?

Jenna: of course, brooke! What’s up?

Lesbiabs: about your text…

Jenna: yeah?

Lesbiabs: it fucking sucks.

Jenna: that’s not constructive criticism :(

Lesbiabs: im sowwey babee :,C

Jenna: kiss it and make it better

Lesbiabs: kiss… your emotions?

Jenna: yes.

C: lovin this verbal foreplay right here

Mikey: im a Pure Gay i don't need this

Mikey: take ur sex to pm’s

Jeremy: “take ur sex to pm’s” [caveman_spongebob.jpg]

Mikey: ok u know what Jeremiah i don't need this negativity in my life

Mikey: blocked

Jeremy: :(

Mikey: love u

Tree boy: [beemovie.pdf]

Mikey: why do u have a pdf of the entire bee movie script

Tree boy: jared got me high but don't you wonder how a bee would ufck a human? would his stinger go in her thrussy? (assuming she’s cis that is) like how 

Tree boy: does that work. what if she shifts and crushes him. do bees nut?

Mikey: oh my god

Tree boy: also corn how do u feel about corn.

Mikey: it’s good?

Tree boy: no I mean like….. on the circle thing. and then u put it over the fire. would it make popcorn

Mikey: you mean … corn on the cob … ?

Mikey: how the hell am I supposed to know

Jeremy: i'm high too do u think time travel is possible. like really it’s just shifting from one reality to the other? like if every choice every single person makes branches out from the main path and into a new timeline and the other timelines are if they did something different that would imply that it’s a 3d space so u can get from one to another which would mean u could also hop ahead/behind which is exactly what time travel is. and the reason we don't see so many effects right now is bc it splinters the line a little bit more!

Tree boy: how many of these are there like is it infinite is time a circle 

Rich: hwat hte fcuk

Jeremy: yeah

Tree boy: is there anything in th circle do lines cross

Jeremy: other lines? or nothingness? and probably maybe the Big Things that happen are bc of lots of lines intersecting

Slushies: I think the stinger goes up the thrussy

Tree boy: thank u jake

Slushies: no problem boblem

Jk: giving evan weed was a mistake

Jk: god

Tree boy: Jeremy

Tree boy: whats it like being a furry? do u wanna fuck a dolphin? would u fuck a dolphin? like if it asked.

Jeremy: okay you know what fuck u

Jk: hey

Jk: it’s a valid question okay

 

Jenna to Adhdrama: ok this is going to come off as weird bUT

Jenna: i've had this crush on u for like. a long time

Jenna: [the_crush_song.vid]

Jenna: so like. I get if u wanna say no and that’s ok but

Jenna: do u wanna be girlfs?

Adhdrama: FUCK YEAH I DO

Adhdrama: I've liked u for

Adhdrama: the longest time

Adhdrama: it’s unreal

Adhdrama: are Chloe and Brooke ok with it?

Jenna: yeah they are

Jenna: <3

Jenna: im love u

Jenna: wanna go on a girlfs date to pinkberry

Adhdrama: hells yeah

Adhdrama: when?

Jenna: after play rehearsal on thursday?

Adhdrama: yeah sure

Adhdrama: but. I might infodump about hamilton

Jenna: sweetie please

Jenna: I was going to say “so will I” but then I just thought “peggy’s a lesbian” and thats more relevant

Adhdrama: she is you’re so right

 

Tree boy to the founding fathers were bi: can dolphins consent ?

Jk: it’s too fuckin early for this bullshit

Tree boy: time doesn’t exist

Lesbiabs: u rite

Jenna: I HAVE A GF

Lesbiabs: yeah???

C: we know???

Jenna: I HAVE ANOTHER

Lesbiabs: oH

Jenna: starting a collection

Adhdrama: dont collect people jenna that’s weird

Adhdrama: it’s funny bc I'm her gf

Jeremy: awwwww

Mikey: <3 gay

Jenna: I have 3 gfs

Mikey: and I can't even get 1 bf

Jenna: JFHDGD SORRY MICHAEL

Mikey: no it’s okAY

Jenna: I CAN SET U UP JUST SAY THE WORD

Adhdrama: I AM SO WILLING TO SET U UP WITH STARSTRIPE

Rich: im down for it too

Mikey: we’re not setting me up with starstripe

Jeremy: //kicking legs up in the air WHY DOES NO ONE LIKE ME

Mikey: I like you???

Jeremy: no like romantically

 

Mikey to Rich: goddamnit jeremy [like-romantically_receipts.jpg]

Rich: dfgkjhvdfxkljghvjkhkj

Rich: no I'm not even kidding I'd set u up with him in a second

Mikey: I dont want to make it weird

Rich: og my god

Rich: okay dude 

Rich: if jeremy told me he liked u would I have ur permission to tell him u like him?

Mikey: yeah

Mikey: but what if he doesn't

Rich: then you’ll figure it out! you got this bro

 

C to the founding fathers were bi: hey guys

C: do yall think we should have a list of triggers or cw's so people don't have panic attacks more than necessary

Jazz band: y’know thats pebbly a good idea

Jazz band: do we just say it here or should we make a pm system or

C: gOOGLE DOCS

C: I'll be right back

C: I can make a survey

C: and y’all can add in whatever u need

 

[ Tuesday, February 22, 15:40 ]

C: okay I have the full list!

C: 

  * bathtubs
  * the beatles
  * blood
  * burns
  * csa/cocsa
  * dan and phil
  * drugs (not counting weed)
  * dysphoria
  * eating disorders
  * eminem
  * the word ‘failure’
  * fire
  * green mtn dew
  * hillary clinton
  * homophobia (religion-based)
  * intrusive thoughts (squip-based or otherwise)
  * knives/blades
  * the word ‘loser’
  * the matrix
  * medicine and related
  * muppets
  * rape
  * scars
  * self harm
  * slurs



 

C: so like just go tw [whatever the thing is] if u rly gotta talk about it

C: and don't feel obligated to explain them! (lookin at you Rich)

Rich: fjkghkj

C: Mikey you’re not clear either

Mikey: DONT CALL ME MIKEY YOU SQUISHED, SALTED, ROTTEN GRAPE

Adhdrama: hey don't call my gf’s gf a squished salted rotten grape :’(

Mikey: well then she shouldn't call me Mikey

C: oh and for the word ones just use like tw: l or tw: f

Alana: okay <3

Alana: thank u Chloe

C: yeah ofc Alana :)

C: tbh I remembered how many of us have weird triggers bc of the squips and shit and I was like maybe someone could. do something about it.

C: and then I realized

C: im someone

Lesbiabs: so inspiring //wipes away a single tear

C: you're so welcome brooke

Lesbiabs: love u

C: love u 2

Jenna: love u 3

Tree boy: the founding fathers were bi

Tree boy: Laurens and Alexander wrote letters that were so sexual editors had to censor them

Jk: god me too johnny

Jk: gotta get it on w/ those revolutionary fuckbois amirite fellas

Tree boy: why are you like this ?

Jk: they…were gay

Jk: im gay

Jk: iM GAY

Tree boy: we know

Lesbiabs: I wanna read the secret gay 18th century smut

Mikey: god me too

Jeremy: gUYS GOOGLE IT DKFLJGDKXJF

Jeremy: and if u can't find it? just go on ao3 there’ll be some good smut there I promise

Rich: well ofc u would know

Jeremy: :(

Rich: those of us who are smart don't admit to jerking off in the mornings,

Jeremy: im being bullied

Mikey: dont bully my bro

Jeremy: thanks bro

Mikey: love u bro

Jeremy: ly2 bro

Rich: this is gay

Jeremy: im bi

Rich: yeah me too

Slushies: YALL IM PAN

Jazz band: ME TOO THE HELL

Alana: IM A LESBIAN

Jenna: ME TOO ALANA

Dustin: IM GAY

Mikey: SAME


	14. fourteen

[ Wednesday, February 23, 04:33 ]

Rich to the founding fathers were bi: guys guys

Rich: my boyfriend? hot.

Slushies: guYS

Slushies: my boyfriend?

Dustin: hot?

Slushies: yep

Jenna: can’t relate

Jenna: where’s christine

Jenna: and brooke

Jenna: and chloe

Jenna: where are my girlfs I'm lonely

Slushies: gay

Slushies: hey guys I need a caption [selfie_14.jpg] [selfie_17.jpg]

Rich: HHOLY FUCK

Rich: MY BOYFRIENDS HOT

Rich: hfHHOLY FUCK

Slushies: screenshotting that for future use

Jenna: are u thinking like, artsy caption or joke caption??

Slushies: artsy

Slushies: I have to keep my Soft Indie Aesthetic™ up for my blog

Jenna: hmm

Jenna: “I swear that I'll always paint you”? “Only fools fall for you”? “Truth be told I never was yours”? “There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin”? “anythig you say can and will be used against you so only say my name”? “Am I more than you bargained for yet”? “He likes boys”?

Slushies: anythig

Jenna: ok u know what fuck u I'm just tryna help /s

Slushies: :((

Slushies: is there anythig I can do to make it up to u

Jenna: [middlefinger_selfie_for_jake.jpg]

Slushies: [hearteyes.gif]

Adhdrama: don’t make fun of my gf!!

Jenna: thanks Christine <3

Adhdrama: anytime <3

Adhdrama: i’d do anythig for u

Jenna: GODDAMNIT

Adhdrama: Klfhgkvjfgkjdhdkjc

Rich: MY BOYFRIEND IS HOT

Rich: THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT

Rich: AW MAN

Rich: 100/10 WOULD BANG

Slushies: bye y’all

Jenna: oh my god

Adhdrama: y’all’re like rabbits 

Jenna: pfffft true

Mikey: hello I was just awakened by Rich and Jake fucking outside of a 7-11 how are you

Lesbiabs: i can’t tell if you’re kidding

Mikey: fkjghfkdjs I am lmao

Mikey: fun fact

Mikey: when i was in 2nd grade we were doing a spelling bee and it was just me and Jeremy left and the word was rabbit and he spelled it wrong and i didn't want him to feel bad so i pretended not to know either

Jk: Evan would do that

Jk: he probably has tbh

Jk: [evan_pm_texts_screenshot.jpg]

// _Jk: have u done this_

_Jk: [michael_spelling_bee_texts.jpg]_

_Tree boy: Well it was a math competition ?_

_Tree boy: But yeah_

_Jk: KJHFDKGHKJ_ //

Lesbiabs: y’all were so nice as kids

Lesbiabs: when I was in 3rd grade I started a bunch of drama and made everyone choose sides

Lesbiabs: it was wild

C: hjgjhgljk iconic

Jenna: my girlfs are so mean ://

Jenna: not u Chris

Adhdrama: aw thanks <3

Jeremy: gay

Adhdrama: bi

Rich: I was called??????

[Rich has changed their name to Bisexual]

Bisexual: hi

Slushies: hi

Mikey: I thought y'all were making out?

Slushies: we were but then christine said “bi”

Bisexual: gUYS WE’RE RECREATING A MEME

Bisexual: RIGHT NOW

Bisexual: U KNOW THE ONE “we’re putting on a play you be my father” “I don't want to be your father” “great you already know your lines” BC THATS WHAT WE’RE DOING

Bisexual: I’LL START

Bisexual: hey we’re putting on a play, u be my father

Slushies: okay daddy

Bisexual: WHAT THE FUCK

Mikey: JAKE PLEASE

Jeremy: OH MY GOD

[C has left the groupchat]

Lesbiabs: NEVER AGAIN

Bisexual: JAKE WHY WOULD U

Jk: I think I'll log out now

Jenna: why would u make me read that

Mikey: never again

Mikey: brb drinking rubbing alcohol so I won't be able to read

Bisexual: jAKE WHAT TH FUCK

[Slushies has added C to the groupchat]

C: goddamnit

Bisexual: JAKE U CANT LEAVE TILL U EXPLAIN URSELF

Slushies: ……

Slushies: okay daddy

[Bisexual has removed Slushies from the group chat]

Mikey: I… regret

[C has added Slushies to the groupchat]

C: care to explain?

Slushies: I HAD A CHANCE SO I TOOK IT OKAY

Slushies: DFJKGHVDKXJFHCK

Bisexual: yeah well pUT IT BACK

Bisexual: I NEVER WANT TO HEAR U SAY THAT AGAIN

Bisexual: OR I WILL EXPOSE UR SLUSHY KINK

Slushies: u already have?

C: no no I want to hear

C: tell us about the slushy kink

Slushies: rich u better not

Jeremy: wait

Jeremy: do u actually… have a slushy kink?

Slushies: dsjkhkvjfhgjvdfx

Bisexual: dsjkhkvjfhgjvdfx

Jeremy: I

Mikey: fdjkhglvdkfjvdf

Mikey: DO U WANNA FUCC THE SLUSHY, JAKE?

C: dont give JD any ideas

Mikey: (texting JD) sorry chlo can't hear u

C: NO PLEASE

Jenna: who’s jd?????

C: he works at the 7-11

C: loves the slushies

Jk: u know what I love

Jk: the cronch

Jk: bath bombs

Tree boy: Idk why he keeps saying this ? bath bombs aren’t crunchy, they melt in ur mouth

Jk: :(

Jk: I. lov. the. cronch.

Tree boy: okay okay

Jenna: whats going on

C: JD and JK are the same person

Jenna: fjghjdvsd

Jk: gcvgdscws thats true

Jk: “are you jason dean?” “No I'm jared kleinman, close tho”

C: anyway back to Jake wanting to fuck a slushy,

C: because i'm rly curious

C: how does that . work

Bisexual: why do u need to know

Bisexual: ur shower nozzle on high yet?

C: okay u know what Rich fuck u

C: I just really want to know ok

Lesbiabs: babe i'm gna dm u

C: oh god

Bisexual: oh my god

Slushies: y'all what the fuck

 

Lesbiabs to C: I dont think he wants to fuck the slushy?

Lesbiabs: like I don't think thats why he likes it?

Lesbiabs: im not very. knowledgable on the topic but

Lesbiabs: im going to guessssss

C: you're stalling

Lesbiabs: yeAH BECAUSE IT’S WEIRD TO THINK ABOUT TWO OF UR FRIENDS HAVING SEX DFJHGJDKDFCSDZ

Lesbiabs: im going to guess he likes. having it poured on him. or something i don't know please let me go back to the group chat

C: I can't breathe cxjhkvtkdfjhxlfkc sudzxhfuclksdjzxc.wmdszxn fdhcxnv fdcx

 

Lesbiabs to the founding fathers were bi: ANYWAY NOW THAT THAT’S DONE

C: I want. death  
Jenna: oh god what did she do

C:f xgvdkjhfxvkj ndf xc c

Slushies: I s2g

Bisexual: DFKGVJKFDHLK THIS IS HILARIOUS

Mikey: u know it’s funny

Mikey: he hasn’t denied it

Slushies: yeah well when I was exposing kinks u never denied u were into being blindfolded

Alana: …I open the chat and the first thing I see,,,

Alana: what’s going on

Slushies: they’re all saying I have a slushy kink so I'm calling out michael in particular because he’s a dick

Slushies: ik we already did this bUT IM GNA CALL YALL OUT AGAIN

Slushies: Rich likes sucking dick; Chloe likes hickeys; Michael likes when the other guy scratches his back; Jeremy just fucking gets off constantly idk; Dustin is a dom; jenna never shuts the fuck up during sex; brooke likes wax play or whatever; christine is still ace; Alana’s thing is good grammar; zoe would totally fuck in a public space as long as it was the band practice room; jared’s a bottom and he loves having his hair pulled, Evan’s a top and he likes pulling hair

Bisexual: only yours babe ;)

C: oh my god no stop

Adhdrama: aw man I suddenly love being ace

Jazz band: I would wouldn't I

Alana: KJFHGFHKDJFHCDX

Jeremy: look we don't have to talk about my habits when it comes to jerking off,

Mikey: jake…

Dustin: im sorry but ur wrong

Jenna: do I shut the fuck up ever in general????

Jk: why would u say something like that

Slushies: I need my ship to float?

Slushies: Jansen ftw

Jk: dare I ask what jansen is

Slushies: it’s u and evan’s ship name

Jk: ah gotcha

Lesbiabs: why would u say that

Alana: good grammar is my kink kids

Jazz band: Hello, Alana! I hope you’re having a spectacular day!

Alana: shut the fuck up

Jazz band: <3

Slushies: ZOE PLEASE WE ALL KNOW ABOUT YOUR AND ALANA’S REPRESSED SEXUAL TENSION PLE A S E GIVE US A BREAK

Jazz band: fnskjcvjdfxcv 

Bisexual: do u really think…u have any room to talk…

Slushies: oh


	15. fifteen

[ Wednesday, February 23, 09:08 ]

Jenna to the founding fathers were bi: wait I'm confused

Jenna: Evan and Jared

Jenna: are u guys actually dating? or is jake kidding

Jk: he’s kidding

Jk: we all know he’s head over hells for connor

Tree boy: hells

Tree boy: and no I'm not

Jk: if u won't tell me whom i'll just assume it’s connor

Jk: like

Jk: who else would it be?

Tree boy: With all due respect there are a lot of people it could be

Slushies: who is it

Slushies: im curious now

Jenna: what are we, fifth graders

Jenna: jake leave him alone

Jenna: if evan doesn't want to say they don't have to

Tree boy: I'm not going to say who my crush is on the gc kesdhkfjsda

Tree boy: obviously.

Jk: but consider this

Tree boy: no, Jared

Jk: oh

 

Jenna to Tree boy: dhfjkvhsl okay

Jenna: u dont gotta tell me but!!!!! im hella curious now sjdkhsdjlska is it someone on the gc?

Tree boy: Oh god okay

Tree boy: Don’t tell anyone this

Tree boy: Esp cause i'm not sure yet

Tree boy: But i'm pretty sure I like jared

Jenna: oh my god really!!!  
Jenna: dude he’s like. in loVE with you

Jenna: go for it dude

Tree boy: No he’s not

Jenna: ok I dont know that for sure but!!  
Jenna: ask him out!!

Jenna: I asked christine out the other day and we’re dating now

Tree boy: Me ? ask someone out ? lmao

 

Tree boy to the founding fathers were bi: Anyway 

Tree boy: Can we talk about something thats not me, my love life, or jake's slushy kink

Slushies: oh

Jenna: oh

Jk: oh

Lesbiabs: oh

Tree boy: why are we saying oh ??????

Slushies: idk my man

Jk: guys guys I was going through my camera roll

Jk: [an_actual_angel.jpg]

Jk: it’s myboy evan hansen

Jk: or should i say

Jk: evan handsome

Jk: //fingerguns//

Tree boy: dfdkjhfskdj

Lesbiabs: aw no hetero but ur cute

Lesbiabs: 10/10 would hug

Tree boy: 10/10 would hug back

Lesbiabs: [me.jpg] [tisbrooke.jpg]

Tree boy: 10/10 WOULD HUG BACK

Lesbiabs: GET IN LOSERS WE’RE HUGGING

Tree boy: OH HELL YEAH

Lesbiabs: u look,, Soft

[Lesbiabs is typing]

Tree boy: Are you going to say uwu ?

Lesbiabs: goddamnit I was

Jenna: selfie party!!!

Jenna: [glo_up_1_2010.jpg] [glo_up_2_2018.jpg]

Lesbiabs: aww look at my girlf

Lesbiabs: 10/10 would hug

Lesbiabs: 10/10 would fuck

Tree boy: Living up to ur screen name

Lesbiabs: i rly am

Tree boy: but i agree i wld hug

Jenna: okAY THE STORY HERE IS IN THE FIRST PIC I WAS EIGHT AND ID JUST COME OUT SO MY MOMS LET ME BUY A BUNCH OF DRESSES AND I WAS TRYING THEM ON AND THAT ONE IS MY FAVOURITE AND IN THE SECOND ONE MY MAMI MADE A DUPLICATE FOR ME NOW KJFHJKSLD 

Tree boy: that’s really cute ?????

Lesbiabs: awwwww

Jk: yeet I haven't taken a selfie since the election of 1800

Jk: [treeboy.jpg] [evan.jpg] [meandtheboy.gif]

Tree boy: wAIT WAS THAT FROM THE FIELD TRIP!!!

Jk: the gif??? yep

Tree boy: we went to the amusement park and Lameass McDorkFace Kleinman made me go on the one that shoots up and down & I was terrified but it was actually really fun ?? he took a video of me and apparently gif’ed it

Jk: the other two are from when we hung out at the park last summer

Jenna: those look almost professional? thats rly good jared wow

Jk: thank u fkhkjsdjf ive thought of bcoming a photographer before

Slushies: u should

Slushies: live ur dreams

Slushies: fuck a dude behind a 7-11

Slushies: you only live once

Rich: jake please “we fucked behind a 7-11” can't be ur advice for everything

Slushies: actually yeah it fuckin can

Slushies: u know how I know?

Rich: …how do u know

Slushies: we fucked behind a 7-11

Rich: how did I know…

Slushies: u know me

Slushies: and yet, somehow, you love me

Slushies: <33

Rich: uh obviously

Rich: im dating? an actual angel

Jazz band: sO AM I JKSHKFJHD

Rich: fIST BUMP

Jazz band: ANGEL-DATING CLUB

Tree boy: Im single

Jeremy: I mean u don't have to be

Tree boy: what

Jeremy: go live ur dream

Tree boy: *Rapunzel voice* you were my new dream

Jeremy: fjkghkjf

Jeremy: me @ redphones

Jazz band: OH MY GOD WHAT A SURPRISE JEREMY GETS ON THE GC AND WHO DOES HE TALK ABOUT? REDPHONES!!!

Slushies: wow i nvr wldve expected

Tree boy: I'm not asking ANYONE out

Tree boy: except maybe a tree

Jk: im sorry what

Jk: are you

Jk: are you trying to say you'd fuck a tree

Tree boy: I SAID ID DATE A TREE THERE’S A DIFFERENCE

Tree boy: ACE PEOPLE EXIST, JARED

Tree boy: AND BESIDES

Tree boy: WHY WOULD SOMEONE FUCK A TREE

Jk: god ok hit a soft spot

Jk: thats what he said

Jk: haha im funny

Jazz band: oh my god…

Jeremy: anyWAY ON A TOPIC THATS NOT EVAN’S TREE KINK

Tree boy: You know thats not a sentence I ever thought id read

Lesbiabs: what

C: djkhfksjldzfwc

C: [chloeeee.jpg]

C: love me

Jenna: I love u

Jenna: very pretty

Jenna: yes

Lesbiabs: my girlf? love

Tree boy: 10/10 would hug

Jk: 10/10 would hug

Slushies: 10/10 would hug

Rich: 10/10 would hug

Jeremy: they're right 

Jeremy: Soft girl™

Mikey: *fingerguns* nOT TO BRE

Mikey: wait

Mikey: [an egg??.jpg]

Mikey: there compliment me while I type

C: ur cute

C: if I was a hetero id date u

Jeremy: HI I WAS SUMMONED UR SO CUTE THE HELL IM SO GLAD WE’RE FRIENDS 

Jazz band: hey guys theres a cute guy alert alert

Jazz band: alana im turning straight

Slushies: aw look it’s the actual light of my life

Jenna: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lesbiabs: nice

Lesbiabs: I second what chloe said

Lesbiabs: 10/10 wld go straight for

Mikey: *fingerguns* nOT TO BREAK UP THE LOVE FEST B U T I feel like shit someone pls hug me I am,,,,,, feelin a bad oof ://

Jeremy: aw :(

Jeremy: what kinda feeling shit like are we talking triangle through the heart, oval in the chest, or ahhhhhh like what we feeling

Mikey: oval in the chest with a side of AHHHHHH

C: what

Jeremy: IT MAKES SENSE TO ME OKAY CHLOE

C: hm

Jeremy: is this a “I need soft hug” or “I need punch in face” depression

Mikey: kinky

Mikey: second one tho

Jeremy: hugs are very kinky I agree

Mikey: now u making me happy what kinda gay bullshit,

Jeremy: wanna do some Kinking (hug)

Mikey: yells heah my dude

Mikey: but like also someone shove me off a building ya know

Jenna: :(( aw michael :((

Mikey: 33 screaming frogs

Mikey: ahh

Mikey: thanks jenna

Jenna: <3

Mikey: <33

Adhdrama: hey I was summoned to tell u that ur an amazing person michael

Mikey: did jeremy summon u

Adhdrama: I summoned myself

Mikey: oh

Mikey: love u

Adhdrama: love u 2

Mikey: tw intrusive thoughts// I still wanna stab myself tho

Mikey: tw intrusive thoughts// like in the heart

Mikey: im need the death

Jeremy: is this an “I should go over right now” or an “I SHOULD GO OVER THERE RIGHT NOW” situation

Mikey: no caps

Mikey: but pls

Mikey: bring warm

Jeremy: …?

Mikey: are u warm

Jeremy: yes???

Mikey: bring urself

Mikey: my serotonin maker (brain): this bitch empty yeet

Jeremy: god me too

Jeremy: im coming

Mikey: lovem u

Mikey: chris

Adhdrama: yeah???

Mikey: selfie party

Mikey: is ur turn

Adhdrama: [click_here_for_free_hot_single_chicks_tONIGHT.jpg]

Mikey: what the fuck

Adhdrama: [princess_c.jpg] here u go sdfkjhdskc

Mikey: A Pretty Girl

Mikey: ur cute

Mikey: good job Jenna

Jenna: thanks michael

Mikey: u got 3 great gfs

Mikey: so proud of u

Jenna: I love them too

Adhdrama: awww

Lesbiabs: love u babe

C: oh ew emotion

C: ly2 babe

Mikey: guys

Mikey: gorgeous by taylor swift?

Mikey: a jam AND a mood

Dustin: OH WORM

Mikey: unpopular opinion sleeping with socks on is the eighth deadly sin

C: u rite

Jenna: u so rite

Mikey: and having sex with socks on

C: what if u get literal cold feel

Jenna: ok chloe u know what fuck u we aint having sex ever again

C: good thing i’ve got brooke

Lesbiabs: I last longer than u anyway

Jenna: I reFUSE TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WEARING SOCKS

C: god I didn't know it was so personal

Mikey: what have I started

Mikey: also, brooke?tmi

Jeremy: I believe u but tmi

C: HEY

C: DONT MAKE FUN OF ME

C: THIS IS BULLYING

Lesbiabs: love u babe <3

C: love you too <3

Mikey: gay

Rich: good post op

Mikey: thanks

Rich: welcome

Jenna: thanks michael

Jenna: needed that

Mikey: you're so welcome jenna

Mikey: so welcome

Mikey: and so valid

Adhdrama: Michael am I valid?????

Jenna: as ur gf I can confirm u are valid

Adhdrama: no I need validation from michael

Mikey: you're valid Christine

Adhdrama: thanks michael

Mikey: you're welcome christine

Jeremy: wow I love my friends

Mikey: Mood

Jeremy: mood

Adhdrama: mood

Jenna: mood

Lesbiabs: mood

C: mood

Rich: mood

Slushies: mood

Tree boy: mood

Jk: we’re having a “mood” party guess i’ll join?

Jk: mood

Dustin: mood

Jazz band: mood

Alana: mood

Jeremy: I love all my friends??????????

Mikey: good post op

Jeremy: thanks 

Jk: I slept for almsot 12 hours last night tf,,

Jk: I shld sleep another 12 in case I get tired

Tree boy: Jared thats a coma

Jk: sounds festive

Tree boy: Jared no

Jk: JARED YES

Tree boy: Anyway I'm cold

Jk: BRB MAKING A MINY SUN

Jk: NO FRIEND OF MINE WILL BE COLD

Jk: WHILE U WAIT TAKE MY COAT MY CLOTHES MY SKIN MY LIFE AND NEXT MONTH’S RENT

Tree boy: You dont even pay rent

Jk: unimportant there’s a million things I haven't done

Tree boy: If u quote hamilton one more time I s2g,

Jk: just you wait, just you wait ;)

Tree boy: SO SO SO, SO THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO MATCH WITS WITH SOMEONE AT YOUR LEVEL, WHAT THE HELL IS THE CATCH? IT’S THE FEELING OF FREEDOM, OF SEEING THE LIGHT, IT’S BEN FRANKLIN WITH A KEY AND A KITE. YOU SEE IT, RIGHT? THE CONVERSATION LASTED TWO MINUTES MAYBE THREE MINUTES, EVERYTHING WE SAID IN TOTAL AGREEMENT IT’S A DREAM AND IT’S A BIT OF A DANCE IT’S A BIT OF A POSTURE AND A BIT OF A STANCE HE’S A BIT OF A FLIRT BUT IMMA GIVE IT A CHANCE HANDSOME BOY DOES HE KNOW IT, PEACH FUZZ AND HE CAN’T EVEN GROW IT

Tree boy: oddly appropriate tbh

Jenna: fjdkfhksdjlh

Jk: gay

Tree boy: That gif of the lady saying “maybe so”

Jk: you're bi

Tree boy: Is it too late to change my answer,

Jenna: me when we’re going over our tests in precalc

Jk: you're in precalc?!?!?!?!?!!?

Jenna: eyah???

Jk: wow intelligence is my kink

Jk: harder mommy

Jenna: okay son… what’s the slope of a line containing points (0, 3) and (-9, 3)

Jk: -1/9

Lesbiabs: what the fuck is going on

Lesbiabs: I go onto the group chat

Lesbiabs: and I am greeted

Lesbiabs: with a gay man telling my girlfriend, a lesbian,

Lesbiabs: “harder mommy”

Lesbiabs: which she responds to

Lesbiabs: with a math problem

Lesbiabs: and he gets it right

Lesbiabs: what the fuck

Jeremy: ok mood

Lesbiabs: jeremy what in the goddamn hell is going on

Jeremy: honestly? no clue


	16. sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y’all… can we talk about the possibility that Jeremy’s hypersexual? like… smh the fandom rly sleeps on the fact that Jeremy’s got problems too???like he canonically jerks off a lot and after what went down at the halloween party??it’s not that unrealistic
> 
> cw: sad teens making jokes about their childhood trauma & insomnia and crying

 

[ Thursday, February 24, 02:34 ]

Jeremy: wjat the fcuk is a sense of privacy

Jeremy: also

Jeremy: pornhug should be a thing

Jeremy: it’shugging

Mikey: remind me never to let u have weed again

Jeremy: pronhg

Jeremy: just hugging

Jeremy: no bro were getting rich ovf of this

Adhdrama: what about Rich?

Jeremy: no I mena

Adhdrama: jeremy let’s hug

Jeremy: MY LONGEST YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEAH BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOI EVER

Adhdrama: <3

Mikey: jfc y'all im so sorry

Mikey: hhhoffhdskjsdka

Adhdrama: mood

Adhdrama: this is hilarious

Jeremy: yOU knOw WhAt ElSe Is HiLaRiOuS?!?!?!/!?1

Mikey: …what

Jeremy: falling in love w someone and them loving someone else :(

Dustin: mood

Mikey: mood

Adhdrama: dude

Adhdrama: u okay?

Jeremy: JHFCXO90V [high.jpg]

Adhdrama: ok what I can see from this photo w/ my shitty eyes and ur blurry camera? you're outside, shirtless, in fucking february, high as a fuck, eating…doritios? or cheese puffs??chugging an unnamed soda and crying?

Jeremy: yeah p much

Adhdrama: …..mood

Adhdrama: do u wanna. talk about it?

Jeremy: not on the gc and no freakign out

Adhdrama: okay

 

Adhdrama to Jeremy: so

Jeremy: GHSFFHDGHGFD DXFXFDXFBFSHGFJSN

Jeremy: AIGHT MY PAL LISTEN UP I'm gay

Adhdrama: I know

Jeremy: yeah bu t im extra gay???????

Jeremy: fr instance

Jeremy: we went to 7/11

Jeremy: I got a blue slushy

Jeremy: he got red

Jeremy: I couldn't stop wondering what shade of purple our lips would've turned

Adhdrama: thats so cute and soft and gay

Jeremy: but id also give him a blowjob behind the 7/11 if he asked.

Adhdrama: akdjshg;vlidfjfjnjc tag yourself

Jeremy: jfc he’s so beautiful chris listen to me he’s…wow

Adhdrama: jeremy I know

Jeremy: just reminding u

Adhdrama: he is v beautiful I gotta say

Adhdrama: no hetero

Jeremy: dont u go stealin my boy

Adhdrama: Jeremy I got a girl

Jeremy: point taken

Jeremy: but chris

Jeremy: chRIS I LVOE HIM SO MUCH

Jeremy: hE’S SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HIM AND HE DOESNT LOVE HIM AND THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE HE’S… JESUS

Jeremy: oh my god christine oh my god

Jeremy: listen the fUCK UP HE IS AMAZING

Jeremy: I

Jeremy: wow

Jeremy: can u believe?????

Jeremy: I want to look at him for a Long Time

Jeremy: I also want the sex

Jeremy: #justhypersexualthings

Adhdrama: #justtraumathings being hyposexual/hypersexual

Adhdrama: wiat

Adhdrama: traumadrama

Adhdrama: should I change my name

Adhdrama: nah but still its a good idea 

Adhdrama: *sighs loudly every time I see another “we aren't ace bc of trauma” post when i'm actually ace bc of trauma*

Adhdrama: am I relatable yet

Jeremy: incredibly

Adhdrama: anyway we were being gay?

Jeremy: OH HELLS YEAH WE WERE

Jeremy: [gay.jpg]

Adhdrama: u dont have to write gay on your selfies

Adhdrama: but u should

Jeremy: wait fuck now I'm crying jfhgkjsdhzrcjspixchuivkjx

Jeremy: HE! WONT! EVER! LIKE!ME! BACK!!!!!

Jeremy: im doomed to be alone lmao

Jeremy: wow

Jeremy: look he’s like a fucking angel and then theres me

Jeremy: greasy boy

Jeremy: bad face bad hair bad skin bad dick bad life bad mind bad bad bad

Jeremy: I cant be what he wants???

Jeremy: he’s

Jeremy: he’s everything to me but

Jeremy: I can't be anything to him

Adhdrama: aw sweetie

Adhdrama: listen hon i know he means so much to you but!!!!!  
Adhdrama: even if he doesn't like u back youll get through this okay!! this'll all turn out alright

Adhdrama: i mean. i'm still here?

Jeremy: but I

Jeremy: jesus

Jeremy: I feel so

Jeremy: sdklfjhsdhfkjcsd

Jeremy: internalized homophobia? a bitch.

Jeremy: dfkfhksdj

Jeremy: gimme a moment

Jeremy: oh mAN OKAY he’s a soft boy™ and I love him so much but like also I want to do the sex

Jeremy: like I wanna pull his hair and mumble how pretty he is and make him moan but I also wanna go on pure dates to 7/11s and get slushies and sit on the roof of the car and talk and look at the stars yknow

Jeremy: rsdrc dsfgevrdfgv redfv erfdgvfd sorry

Adhdrama: it’s okay fd.kgj;vldfdfkcmsdc

Adhdrama: obviously being ace I have no real experience here but

Adhdrama: hey it’s all right to like dudes AND be a dude

Adhdrama: you aren't bad for that!! it’s not dirty!! literally 99% of ppl feel this way it's alright

Jeremy: i love u so much christine have I mentioned

Adhdrama: [i_know_this_and_i_love_you.jpg]

Jeremy: good reaction image usage

Adhdrama: thanks

Jeremy: welcome

Jeremy: he’s so…

Jeremy: wow

Adhdrama: mood

Adhdrama: I get what u mean tho lmao

Jeremy: im so gay gay gay  
Jeremy: look see the thing is 

Jeremy: i can't like. huihfskjs whats the word. mentally merge. conjoin??? the hypersexual part of me with the romantic part and the sexual part nd the friend part and k.jgdfpgiivosdlfnlksdfc

Adhdrama: #justchildhoodtraumathings 

Adhdrama: im sorry man

Jeremy: also khjfghdgjdsjkfhkjdxhflvdhxdfs dysphoria? killing me.

Jeremy: im so fuckkign emotionally tired man

Jeremy: like i'm bouta 

Jeremy: hhhhh

Jeremy: //stares at a wall for 3 hours doing nothing// it’s fine lmao

Adhdrama: //hugs//

Jeremy: //hugs back// //tries not to get tears on ur shirt//

Adhdrama: what if i'm not wearing a shirt ;) ;)

Jeremy: i can't read that text i'm gay

Jeremy: hey why aren't u asleep

Adhdrama: see sometimes my brain goes like VOOOOOOOOM ZOOOOOOOOOM JAHAHAGSAHDAHSDAGSHDGA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFGH VOOOP

Jeremy: why did I understand that

Adhdrama: tbh idk

Adhdrama: see there’s my brain screaming at me to sleep, one part just asking stupid shit like if gogurt is actually just yogurt, one part’s giving me emotional flashbacks but I don't know what the fuck is going on in them, one part’s reciting the fibbonachi sequence, one’s singing satisfied from hamilton, and one’s just screaming

Jeremy: FIRST OF ALL MOOD

Jeremy: secondly 

Jeremy: u tried melatonin??

Adhdrama: yeah

Jeremy: hhm

Jeremy: how long has it been since u got up?

Adhdrama: I left bed at midnight to get water

Jeremy: ok lemme tell u what

Jeremy: u get up, get a drink, go to the bathroom, whatever. text me goodnight and try to sleep. if it’s been 15m and u can't keep texting me

Adhdrama: okay I dont wanna stop talking to u tho :/

Jeremy: straighty

Adhdrama: djfkfhsjn

Adhdrama: taKE IT BACK

Jeremy: sorry bisexual

Jeremy: i’ll see u at school tomorrow tho!!

Adhdrama: okay <3

Jeremy: <3


	17. seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seeing as I am a Son Of God i've nvr been high vgvkuto8p7tigukb Jebsus Is My Lorb Anb Sabior
> 
> Also th bmc kids are seniors and the deh kids are juniors (except zoe she’s a sophomore)
> 
> Also? “Platonic bdsm” is the funniest fucking thing I've ever read

 

[ Thursday, February 24, 07:01 ]

Mikey: im fucking uhhhhhhhhgayabdsad

Jeremy: mood

C: I want to hmmmmmmkillmyself?????

Jeremy: …mood

Jeremy: u ok

C: nah bro

C: eh im going to sleep again

Jenna: why is my girl sad

Jenna: :(

Jenna: im sad too tbh

Jenna: can't stop listening to waving through a window by ben platt and crying my fucking eyes out

Tree boy: OH WORM ?????

Tree boy: Seriously tho ??tht song might as well have been written for me 

Mikey: im bouta scream I'm sad too y'all why re we all so sad

Jeremy: depression

Jenna: noooo oneeeeee lovesssssss meeeeeeee

Mikey: mood

Jeremy: I love both of u

Alana: gay

Jenna: we’re literally all gay here alana

Alana: point

Alana: io8fd’ygiybv;’osdp;p/ksdzx,c’epsdkzjxoch;igulhvdskbxjlkv 

Mikey: mood

Mikey: hmm ever think u don't contribute anything to anyone cause same

Jeremy: ily bro

Mikey: dont try to console me bro ily but it’s not gonna help 

Jeremy: you sure bro??

Mikey: yeah bro

Jenna: I can't believe I'm hanging w a bunch of frat bros

Alana: anf me!

Jenna: frat gal

Alana: shit u rite

Tree boy: //finger guns// Death sound good to anyne else eight about now?

Mikey: WORM

Jeremy: WOME

Alana: BIG MOOD

Jenna: SAME

Tree boy: WHY ARE WE YELLNG

Alana: I DONT KNOW EVAN

Mikey: BECAUSE WE CAN

Jeremy: I wanna die ~

Mikey: dont use the “~” thing it makes u look like a furry

Mikey: oh wait…

Jeremy: ioHGFO8VD7FPYIVOHN

Tree boy: *First graders chanting* kiss the furry kiss the furry

Jeremy: I dont even know where to start

Mikey: mood

Alana: ou[9y08t9786fyuvkhbmn 

Alana: I key smash because I'm insecure and dying inside :)

Jenna: same

Tree boy: Me: *chilling* my brain: hey what if we were to…die? Me: *no longer chilling*

Alana: MOOD

Tree boy: noT TO BE GUSHY BUT i'm so glad i met yall

Jeremy: gay

Tree boy: Bi actually 

Jeremy: touché

Alana: you guys are great

Tree boy: Thanks you're wrong about me tho

Jenna: sjhagahggahaaghh mood

Jazz band: YO I WANT TO DIE

Jazz band: oh y'all already talking about death!!

Jazz band: wow for once I didn't fuck up something good!!

Alana: bb <3

Jazz band: ly

Jenna: guys…

Jenna: you're gonna need congressional approVAL AND YOU DONT HAVE THE VOTES

Jk: yo i heard hamilton,

Jk: oh we’re talking about our deep rooted self esteem issues?????

Jk: seeing as I'm actually an angel I aint got none of those

Jenna: sounds fake but okay

Jazz band: bmood

Mikey: same  
Mikey: but also like everything about me? horrible

Mikey: (//tw intrusive thoughts, suicide, ed??) me: chilling// my shit brain, immediately: DIE DIE DIE STAB URSELF IN THE NECK STARVE YOURSELF TO DEATH DIE DIE DIE// me: no longer chilling

Jk: KJHDOIFUODFJHBUSD MOOD

Jenna: biggest mood

Tree boy: I'd ask if u guys are okay but

Tree boy: Well,

Alana: u got me there

Jeremy: *while watching my hopes & dreams slide down the drain* IT’S CHILL Y’ALL

Mikey: same

Tree boy: I have anxiety yallllllll

Mikey: mood

Jenna: I have self hatred yalllll

Jeremy: mood

Alana: i need death

Tree boy: mood

Jazz band: my parents dont love me ://

Jazz band: I dont love me ://

Jk: mood

Jazz band: they'd be so pissed if they knew I was pan

Jk: mOOD

Jazz band: yo at least we could be homeless together???

Jk: kjfdgviphcsdkbj MOOD

Tree boy: Actually uh I mke the rules yall wldnt be homeless bc u could stay w me

Jk: ahgjgsba im not gonna put y’all in debt bc I couldn't help but make a joke about sucking dick

Mikey: first of all mood

Adhdrama: im s fuckifgjn sitred

Jeremy: same

Adhdrama: jEREMY

Adhdrama: traumadrama

Jeremy: fohpdfhpfhdhdphdpfhpd 

Jazz band: mood

Jk: I feel ver gay

Jk: an very sad

Jk: gad

Jk: say

Jenna: dare I say mood

Jk: apparently yeah

Jenna: dont give me that sass mister

Jk: kinky

Jk: harder mommy

Lesbiabs: why do I always come on the group when jared, a gay dude, is saying “harder mommy” to jenna, my girlfriend, a known lesbian

Tree boy: It’s because you have a mommy kink :)

Lesbiabs: SSSSSSHUT THE FUCK UP

Jenna: JFGFLVSJDVHMnkbhsdjzfcbkjs,bfc sd

Jenna: platonic bdsm

Jk: Ub[gHUYDG7XF8VYIBSUOJDPFJHIOVG89DF7YXIBVNOI SJDHUK

Lesbiabs: “when I have a hot pocket I pretend I'm getting spanked” 

Jk: “Im sorry son we’ve talked about this, I can't be doing platonic bdsm with you”

Tree boy: I have a love/hate relationship w that blue hellsite

Adhdrama: im back and I have a question

Jeremy: is it what the fuck? bc same

Adhdrama: yep

Tree boy: They're doing platonic bdsm guys learn to read

Mikey: shaghgahghsgdhagsjhaghaghjsghash

Tree boy: Same

Adhdrama: Jeremy’s a furry ~

Mikey: STOPSTOPSTOP—

Jeremy: LDGUIFOUPC;OJ.MVOUJ CHRISTINE STOP

Mikey: *kicks back in my chair* so what are u guys’ kinks

Adhdrama: parental love & support

Jk: love and affection? feeling valued?

Tree boy: Hbsahbsdhgsa kinky bt I know for a fact that u like being tied up

Jk: evan quICK FUCKING QUESTION WHAT THE FUCK

Jk: WHY WOULD U SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT

Jenna: are u guys sure ur not dating

Tree boy: At ths point not really

Jeremy: MOOD

Tree boy: Remember tht time we gt high at that family party

Jk: LMAO YEAH

Tree boy: Yeah u pulled me into your mom’s room and started listing off ur kinks ??

Jk: _I DID WHAT NOW_

Tree boy: KhjlihIbiojhilk i dnt remember most of it dw 

Jk: you better be fucking w me

Tree boy: No deadass u were like “Evannnnnnnnnn the lights are spinninggggggg let’s go to my mom’s roommmmmmmm… Evannnnnnn if u did the sexxxxxxxx would u wanttttttttttttttt to be tied uppppppp”

Jk: theres no way youre serious

Jk: evan

Jk: you're kidding right

Tree boy: Jared i really wish i was kidding

Jenna: this is the funniest fucking conversation I've ever read

Mikey: will to live?fuckin’ restored

Jk: stop laughing at my regret ogifdkhjgdglvidukjndfs

Jk: did I actually say this

Jk: evan

Jk: evan please

Jk: you better be fucking around bc

Tree boy: Jared who wld i be fucking around with

Tree boy: get it cause I'm single

Tree boy: But nope i'm not kidding

Jk: why are u telling me this over 3 years later 

Tree boy: ‘m preserving ur dignity tbh

Jk: is there more

Jk: there better not be more

Tree boy: That’s Enough Sharing Time For Today Kids Join Us Next Week Or Ppreferably Never

Jenna: mood but also

Jenna: this is the funniest fucking thing I've seen all week

Jenna: bad mood?destroyed

Jenna: I only care about a high 14y/o jared dragging an equally high 14y/o evan into his mom’s room to talk about his kinks

Jk: story time I was mocked by a group of people I thought were my friends

Mikey: I can't fucking breathe this is gold

Jeremy: fsjhdlhajsdhlkhjfkhdjkhf

Lesbiabs: this whole thing is a mood

Adhdrama: oh my god

Jenna: I fskjhgkfdjlhdf8govhkdsfc

Jk: same tbh

Jk: ANYWAY what the fuck was happening before this

Jenna: platonic bdsm I think

Jk: jESUS FUCK—

Jenna: dont say that word son

Jk: sorry mom

Jenna: do the dishes

Jk: okay mom

Jenna: love u son

Jk: ly2 can we watch a movie after dinner

Jenna: son we’ve talked about this I'm not doing platonic bdsm with u

Lesbiabs: both of u shut the fuck up

Jk: can't hear u I'm doing platonic bdsm

Lesbiabs: jared motherfucking kleinman

Jk: yeah?

Lesbiabs: stop

Jk: ok mom

Lesbiabs: NO FUCK

[ Lesbiabs has left the group chat ]

[ Jenna has added Lesbiabs to the group chat ]

Jenna: you’re staying right here babe

Lesbiabs: I've never felt this threatened by the word babe before

Adhdrama: our gf is terrifying tbh

Adhdrama: im jk jenna ily

Jenna: dfjkhfskjd ily2 christine

Jeremy: this may come as a surprise to y’all but

Jeremy: I'm bisexual

Mikey: oh my god Jeremy I never would have guessed

Adhdrama: im so surprised

Jk: [it’s_true_and_he_should_say_it.jpg]

Tree boy: Time dsnt exist

Tree boy: We’re all jst fucking floating

Tree boy: I havent slept in days

Tree boy: Whats even real tbfh

Jk: mood also are u ok

Tree boy: Ive had so much monster in the bast few days

Jk: how much I'm comcerned

Tree boy: 8 cans in 2 days

Jk: shit dude

Jk: thats……..no t godo for you

Tree boy: Ngggggggggggggg do I look like I care

Tree boy: [get_u_a man_who_can_do_both_(dark_circles_AND_jittery_hands).jpg]

Jk: 1) mood

Jk: 2) wow…a blessing

Jenna: LET’S SHOW THESE FEDERALISTS WHAT THEY’RE UP AGAINST SOUTHERN MOTHERFUCKIN DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS

Tree boy: @jared: thank @jenna: thank

Jenna: mood

Rich: just got here don't know what the fuck is going on gay morning

Tree boy: We’re gay

Rich: ok reading ur last couldple texts

Rich: go to fucking sleep

Rich: dude look I almost died in 7th grade frm drinking too much caffeine and not sleeping

Tree boy: Hm and death is the worst thing that could happen to me rn ?

Rich: … u ok?

Tree boy: Lmao as if

Tree boy: [oak_gay.jpg]

Jk: thats an oak it's about 42 yrs old and tall

Tree boy: Wow

Jk: I learned a little from u

Jk: anyway

Jk: we can't all be distracted by trees

Jk: whats up


	18. eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .ass fdjkxhv;ksdzsc

[ Thursday, February 24, 07:35 ]

[Tree boy has created a new group chat]

[Tree boy has added Jk to a new group chat]

[Tree boy has added Rich to a new group chat]

[Tree boy has changed the chat title to “we’re all gayy herE ?”]

Tree boy: HHhhh

Tree boy: W gotta not make fun of me

Jk: seriously whats up ur scaring me now

Tree boy: Hazgghfhabx

Rich: I hug the boy

Tree boy: Ahgkchsdjflk at this poitn ? I dont care if I die or not so I'm kinda just doing whatever and chilling under the assumption that I'm nt gna live to 20

Rich: dude

Jk: bro

Rich: ngnngggggg ik u wont want to but u shld prbly go spill ur soul to a therapist so they can rec u some of them coping mechanisms™

Jk: rich not all of us can be healthy,

Jk: no I'm jk 

Tree boy: Yeah we know thats ur screen name

Jk: oh fuck off  ♡

Tree boy:  ♡

Tree boy: I dnt want to talk to a therapist tho

Tree boy: anxiety

Rich: aight 

Rich: hang on

Rich: I have a folder full of tumblr posts & cpy-pasted websites for Coping Help™

Rich: [coping_tips_1.txt] [coping_tips_2.txt] [coping_tips_3.txt] [coping_tips_4?????.txt] [depression_coping??.txt] [really_cool_calming_app_for_evan_that_I_had_to_dig_thru_my_files_to_find?.ass]

Tree boy: thank

Rich: now u gotta sleep

Jk: ^ add the clapping emoji in that I'm too lazy to

Rich: no

Jk: :(

Tree boy: Youre both fuckig nerds

Jk: thank

Jk: but no dude seriously

Jk: put your phone down and go to sleep

Tree boy: Ic ant 

Jk: why not?

Tree boy: it’s stupid

Jk: no it’s not

Tree boy: ………Hhhn besides normal anxiety™ I have a Thing about falling alsoeep alone ?

Tree boy: My mom won't be home for another week and I? fuckifn

Tree boy: It’s so fuckign stupid I'm sorry

Jk: no thats not stupid bro

Jk: ngngngngngnnfnhnghhgnhgnhgngnh no bisexual but wld it help f I came over?

Rich: “no bisexual”

Jk: shut up heather

Tree boy: I dnt want to get in the way ?????u have school nd stuff

Jk: I didnt ask if u have deep rooted insecurities that keep u from admitting u need help i asked if you wanted me to come over

Tree boy: are u sure ??

Jk: y e sia ms u r e

Tree boy: if it’s really okay??

Jk: im there

Jk: 10m

 

[ Thursday, February 24, 08:39 ]

Rich to we’re all gayy herE ?: how y'all doin?

Jk: The Boy Is Asleep, Richard, Shut Up

Rich: fkjhgfjklsdhfjskd ok

 

Jk to Rich: hey homo it me iim gay

Rich: am I supposed to be surprised

Jk: I mean no

Jk: im just just really gay

Rich: gay??

Jk: yeah

Jk: good post

Jk: nah but

Jk: fhhnnhnn

Jk: look dude

Jk: when u fall asleep with The Boy curled around u?

Jk: gay

Jk: also a v good excuse to not get up

Jk: gay

Rich: gay.

Rich: wait

Rich: are y'all actually dating or

Jk: we’ve been oVEr this rich

Jk: we aren't

Jk: I mean

Jk: that doesn't mean i don't wish we were but

Rich: gay

Jk: gay

Rich: gay!

Jk: GAY!!

Rich: this…is mlm culture

Jk: hecc yea it is

Jk: im so gay my dude

Jk: so gay…

Jk: u ever got a boy fall asleep huggin u? gay.

Rich: so gay

Rich: and yea

Rich: jake

Jk: gay

Jk: he’s so

Jk: wow

Jk: evan

Jk: not jake

Jk: dfghfsdkjh

Rich: I get what u meant dw

Rich: so

Rich: be gay

Rich: I aint got nowhere important to be

Rich: legit im chilin in the bathroom sitting on jake’s lap while he watches netflix

Jk: jkdhfjd mood

Jk: ok so!!!!! I've low-key (read: highkey) been in love w evan since 7th grade and w o w. my parents are hella mcfucking homophobic so they don't know and it was rly hard for me to accept? but now that i have oh jesus I am mcgay hhh um? he knows these stupid fucking tree facts for whatever reason and i've picked up on some? It’s rly cute when he rambles? And he’s always cold and I'm always hot so we’ve got that thermodynamic equilibrium™ and jesus fuck my guy he’s gorgeous khhhhhhh um he’s got sectoral heterochromia but no one notices that often? and im really fucungn gay

Rich: gay

Rich: wow

Rich: u rly like him

Jk: unfortunately,

Rich: u shld tell him

Jk: no

Rich: but if u do u cld end up like me (sucking dick behind a 7/11)

Jk: that can't be ur explanation for everything rich

Rich: yes it can u piece of moldy bread that got burned in the toaster

 

Jk to the founding fathers were bi:[richs_insult.jpg]

Rich: did u srsly just screenshot that nd send it to the group chat

Jk: yes.

Mikey: mood but also I'm want2die

Rich: :(

Rich: what wld be helpful for u rn??

Mikey: mind if I rant

Mikey: or just fucking livestream my suicide

Rich: um first option sounds better to me tbh

Mikey: both did I hear u say both

Rich: “both” only applies to my sexuality, continue

Mikey: fdjhsdjhkf

Mikey: I've been???so off recently??? And dysphoric???and anxious???????and it's ugh I jkhfsdfkjlhfdsjkchss I'm so tired I can bare,y move hh

Rich: [fatigue_scale.jpg] what number are u?

Mikey: bruh 

Mikey: th letters are way too blurry

Rich: gimme a sec I'll copy it down

Rich: 

  1. _GOING CLUBBING_
  2. _Can do 3 or more activities (shopping, school, movies) in a single day_
  3. _Can get in 10k steps for the day_
  4. _Can run errands_
  5. _Can get around the house but definitely couldn't go out_
  6. _Can do work on computer lying in bed_
  7. _Can watch a movie & play a game on phone simultaneously_
  8. _Can't do much more than watch tv_
  9. _Can barely move, can talk_
  10. _Can barely move, can't talk_



Mikey: like 6 / 7

Mikey: it’s more emotional exhaustion than physical but yea if that makes sense

Mikey: if I needed to I could go shopping but I might have a breakdown and cry in the aisle so

Mikey: school? out of the question

Rich: are u able to sleep?

Mikey: nope

Mikey: this sucks ass

Rich: im sorry man

Rich: im at school rn but I cld come over?

Rich: im just chillin in the bathroom

Mikey: if u wanna

Mikey: I'm annoying tho lmao

Rich: fake news

Rich: im coming over ly

Mikey: ly2


	19. nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shhdhshdbdhs hi sorry i had like, a plot n w/e but i am Not in good enough place rn to like, Do The Plot, so congrats me!! I live by my own goddamn rules #yolo ya feel. here u go take some Stupid Words ahshsgb

 

Slushies: hello im bi

Jeremy: wow im u

Slushies: what

Jeremy: *im kin with you

Slushies: ...what

Jeremy: do u not know what kin is

Slushies: i know what kin is bu why on gods green earth are u kin w me

Jeremy: bc we're both bi

Mikey: hdhdgshshh worm

Mikey: im kin w spiderman

Jk: SHGSHSSGGS NO WAY SO AM I

Jk: SHAHBSS NO DOUBLES /s

Mikey: jadhdbhsbdbdbd

C: yyeah mood 

Lesbiabs: so whos kin w what

Lesbiabs: i personally am kin w jeremy

Adhdrama: wow mood

Adhdrama: *casually kins my bf*

Jeremy: wait are we dating 

Adhdrama: u mean were not???

Jeremy: wow we're dating now yeet

Jk: ew emotions 

Jazz band: ahdhshshfhbd me every day of my life

Jenna: OWO SAME

Lesbiabs: babe did u just say owo

Lesbiabs: we're breaking up

Jk: *cronching popcorn* fight fight fight 

Evan: ahahhdshdb no

Jenna: im not fighitng my gf

Jenna: wait hold up jereny and christirn ae dating?!?

Adhdrama: i think so??????

Jeremy: i also think so??????

Adhdrama: ahdhhsdhhdhddh

Rich: *heelys into the room* hello friends im traumatised :)

Slushies: mood

Slushies: u alright tho

Rich: ASHDHDHDHDH NO

Rich: 8gh grade can smd

Jenna: wow kin!!! 

Jenna: but rlly u ok?

Rich: (((((((: 

Rich: ( ( ( ( ( ( ( : 

Rich: owo

Rich: shhahdhddb i had some memories & thats all im saying abt that. whomst wants to distract me

Mikey: ill distract u

Mikey: with this di

Rich: im down,

Rich: i DiDnT sAy AnYtHiNg

Mikey: Rich I'm In Your House

Rich: no ur not agdhavdbbd

Mikey: I'm Emotionally In Your House

Rich: oh thats fair

Slushies: wait can wr go back to that one part

Jenna: *angelica schuyler voice* rewind,

Jenna: nah imma shut up i want the Tea folx

Jeremy: yEaH wHaT hApPenEd

Mikey: ALL I SAID WAS THAT IF RICH NEEDED A DISTRACTION IC OULD DIDTRACT HIM WHTH THIS DICC

Jeremy: _yeah but why_

Mikey: bc i like any other male being with eyes am gay for richard goranski

Rich: im flattered ;););)

Jenna: HI IM GAY AND BAD AT READING TONE SO IDK IF UR KIDDING??? HELP??? IM SO LOST???

Lesbiabs: well ur not lohst yet,

Jenna: angbfhsbdb shhh

Jeremy: loOKS LIKE IM NOT THE ONY ONE PICKJN UP SOME DATES TODAY

Jeremy: U GO MIKEY M GO GET EM

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: hello im gay and not quite sure how much I should be wanting to die rn hshshshdbd

Adhdrama: :,( babe

Adhdrama: i mean theres always polyamory??

Jeremy: yeah ur right shdhhdd

Jeremy: i jusy feel

Jeremy: idk i feel Not Great

Jeremy: henlo itya Boi ,,, sselfish mcgee,,,

Adhdrama: nonono bb its ok to be im love w him

Jeremy: hm sounds Fake but ok

Adhdrama: im serious tho it's ok to feel. it's ok to not be numb

Jeremy: Youre Right And Im A Fool

 

Rich to the founding fathers were bi: hjsjdjhdhdhdf

Mikey: Ahahhsshshshshd

Rich: JSJSJSHDHDHDBDH

Mikey: WNDBSBSVDVSVSVSSB

Rich: how do yall feel abt polyamory. aksing for a friend

C: well i think it's great

Rich: 1-800-did-i-ask

Slushies: sdhdhdbdhh shut up dont mansplain polyamory

Rich: BINCH WHERE

Slushies: sjshhfdhd

Slushies: anyway we're all secretly gay for Michael so

Slushies: i donT know hw to emotions

Mikey: im not secretly gay for me

Slushies: jfjajdjhdhdhddh shut up u know what i mean

Rich: everyones secretly gay for u babe

Rich: that was to jake but it applies to all yall

Jeremy: yeah thats fair

Dustin: ajfhdjdjfjdjdsw

Jeremy: ^^^

Slushies: hsjsjsnhahdhdhddbd we need to learn communism 

Slushies: FCUK I MEAN COMMUNICATION UECK

Rich: HSHDHDDHSBHDBDHDDB

Jeremy: BRB LEARNING COMMUNISM

Mikey: GOODBYE COMRADES

Slushies: i hate all of you

Chloe has changed the chat title to "communism"

Jazz band: so y'all were communicating?

Slushies: yeah hdhdhdhskdfh

Rich: like babe im ok w opening the relationship if ur not joking BUT IF U ARE THEN THIS IS AWKWARD ANSGSHSHFBD

Slushies: i mean i am too unless yoURE jOKING 

Rich: IDK ARE U JOKING

Slushies: DEPENDS IF U ARE

Jenna: dear god please fkn communicate w each other ahdhahdhhd 

Mikey: jkdjadhhsbdhdhsgahshsh

C: ^^^

Mikey: (this just in, chloe kins me)

Slushies: Michael No

Rich: all im saying is that mikey can choke on my di

Slushies: andabbshshddbdvg

Slushies: mood tho

Mikey: im being hit on

Mikey: this is new

Mikey: im not used to this

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: im like. so scared of making a joke & fckig up this relationship ://

Adhdrama: u n mikey have been friends for years bb, he wont leave u bc of a stupid joke. nd if he did he wouldn't be that great of a friend anywau. ily <33

Jeremy: how do u always know what to say

Adhdrama: i dont i just fake it till i make it 

Jeremy: oh worm

 

[Mikey created a new chat]

[Mikey set the chat title to AAAA—]

[Mikey added Jenna to the chat]

[Mikey added Adhdrama to the chat]

Mikey: help

Mikey: im like, in love w jerem y y'all know this right

Mikey: I wanna. invite him to the Gay Group

Mikey: bUT I CANT I FEEL SO SDHHFHHHHH

Jenna: im sorry :’/

Jenna: thats gotta suck man

Adhdrama: I rlly think u should ask him out??????

Mikey: no™

Adhdrama: I rlly think it wld go better than u think

Mikey: thanks but it won't

Mikey: im :’(

Jenna: i agree w chris

Jenna: ask him out!!!!!

Mikey: no!!!! :(

Mikey: i’ll. just suffer

 

Adhdrama to Jenna: [jeres-doing-it-too.png]

Jenna: oh my god

Jenna: just. ask them out FOR each other

Jenna: im gonna fuckin

Adhdrama: same

Adhdrama: im. dfhgdudhaddjdhahjhdjdh

Jenna: same

 

Jeremy to communism: im kin with rich n jake

Dustin: wow same ahdhahshdhd

C: HURRY UP W THE FEELINGS TLAK I WANNA SEE HOW THIS ENDS

Mikey: my stUPID JOKE STARTED THIS AJDHSHAH so i guess u should finish it??? 

Mikey: like, i AM poly, in case anyone was wondering

Rich: wow same

Slushies: wow same

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: wow ive never felt so left out in my life ajdhshabsgd

 

Michael to communism: so like if y'all wanna date??

Rich: i mean. im down.

Slushies: dtf maybe

Slushies: nah but im also down if like. yall want to. 

Mikey: dnabdjshshdh so like

Mikey: do yall

Mikey: wnat to. 

Slushies: ,,,, yeah

Rich: fhshddhdhd ya

Mikey: so i. also want to. 

Mikey: so like

Mikey: i,, dont know how to emotions

Slushies: wow same

C: we believe in u!!!!!!  
Lesbiabs: or do we.

C: we do!!!!!

Lesbiabs: hell yeah we do!!!!!  
Jeremy: i also believe in yall :’)

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: im gonna yEET OFF A CLIFF

Jeremy: :’/

Adhdrama: ask him out I'm literally begging u??????

Jeremy: nnnnnoooooooooooooooooo

Jeremy: just god im gay.

Jeremy: fOR SLL OF THEM!!!! Goddmanit i didn't even realize I'm DUMB jhhkdhdjkhjdkjs

Adhdrama: kick down the gc door and just be like “HEY WHATS UP IM GAY FOR YALL”

Jeremy: I cannnnnntttttttttttttt

 

Slushies to the founding fathers were bi: y'all need to learn to communicate.

Slushies: rich, I like u. michael I like u too. jeremy you too tbh if we’re gonna be Emotioning in the chat today

Rich: guys I think jake has a crush on me

Rich: wow jake I like u and mikey n jeremy too

Mikey: leT’S TAKE THIS TO PMS AND TELL THE GIRLS HOW IT WORKS OUT I DONT WANNA SPAM THE BIG CHAT

Jenna: no I wanna see how this one goes down

Rich: too late <3

 

[Rich created a new chat]

[Rich set the chat title to I'm fucking bi]

[Rich added Slushies, Mikey, and Jeremy to the chat]

Rich: hi everybody no leaving

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: RICH SAYS NO LEAVING THE NEW GC FUCK

 

Rich to I'm fucking bi: yeah hi I did emotions now y'all gotta do it too

Slushies: fuck u I started the emotions

Rich: MIKEY?? EJREMY?? ANY ImpUT AT aLL??????

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: fuuuuck they want my input now

 

Mikey to AAAAA-: jhghjgkghjjhgjhgkjhkgghjkhg thEY WANT OUR INPUT AND IM SO GAY FOR JEREMY I DONT WANNA FUCK THIS UP HGHGHHG WHAT DO I DO

Adhdrama: im not supposed to tell u this but if I have to hear another one of these vents I'm gonna scream. Jeremy fucking likes you he never shuts up about you pleas ejust fucking ask him out im literally begging u

Mikey: wait what

 

Slushies to I’m fucking bi: 100% sure they'RE BOTH TEXTING ANOYHER CHAT RN

Slushies: i hav to do everything around this goddamn home i s2g

 

Adhdrama to AAAAA-: yeah I'm not fucking joking please just ask him out I'm begging u I'm gonna go batshit if u ever send me another “heee doesntttt loveeee meeeeeee” text holy fucking shit I’m

Mikey: homophobia. im sending screenshots of this. but ok

 

Mikey to I’m fucking bi: hang on hang on

Mikey: this is just pt 1 ok

Mikey: [imsogay.png]

Mikey: [shes gonna snap.png]

Mikey: thERe.

Slushies: wow. im. so. surprised. never been this shocked in my life. michael likes jeremy? wow. truly.. surprising.

Mikey: fuck off

Jeremy: if anyone needs me i'm fucking dead

Jeremy: insults? I can handle. compliments? I’m Fucking Dead

Mikey: wow kin

Mikey: ..

Mikey: YOUR EMAKIGN ME ANIUXS PLEASE RREPOND

 

Jeremy to Adhdrama: ICNST FUCKIFN BELEIEVE U DID U KNWO THIS WHOLE TIME HE LIKDE ME DJHDSGDSJAHJHJ

Adhdrama: YEAH BUT I CLDNT TELL U IT BREAKS THE FRINED CODE YALL SO FUCKIN ANNOYNG GO ASK THEM OUT NOW IM GONNA FUCKING SNAP

Jeremy: KNJSDFFJHDFJKHJ SHUT UP CHRISTINE

Adhdrama: I CONSIDER THIS MISOGYNY

Jeremy: FUCK OFFFFFFF

 

Jeremy to I’m fucking bi: dbfshgjfghjjvsjhghgjjhjhgjh I gay

Jeremy: also. I gay also

Jeremy: dfhjfdhfhjfhjghghghgbgddg gay

Rich: jeremy im begging u to just give us an fuckign answer

Slushies: he says yes.

Jeremy: …he can speak for himself thanks jake

Jeremy: but yeah he says yes

Mikey: HE SAYS YES!!!!!!!!!  
Mikey: HE ALSO SYAS YES (me) !!!!!!!!

Slushies: WAIT DOES THAT MEAN WE’RE ALL DATING NOW

Rich: I THINK SO

Mikey: hELL YEAH

Jeremy: wow im not single what

Slushies: DONT BE FUCKING DEPRESSING

Jeremy: U DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO FUCK U

Slushies: u wish ;)

Rich: dont kill him JAKEJAMIN

Mikey: jakejamin

Rich: like benjamin. but w jake

Mikey: oh ofc

 

Jeremy to the founding fathers were bi: hi we’re all dating now

Jenna: about fucking time

Adhdrama: I know right

Lesbiabs: [jakeydlikesjeremy.png]

Jenna: [michael please shut up.png]

Dustin: [jeremy is gay.png]

Adhdrama: [just ask him out u dumbass.png]

Adhdrama: [my bf wants a bf.png]

C: [rich is bisexual I think.png]

Jeremy: I officially hate u :)

Mikey: guys i'm GAY!!!!

Slushies: YEAH!!!!!!

Jeremy: is it too early in the relationship to start making ‘so and so please fuck me challenge’ jokes bc

Jenna: jeremy if I have to hear about your goddamn repressed sexual tension with all 3 of ur bfs I'm going to eat 1,522 oranges 

Jeremy: what

Jenna: the acid will burn my tongue

Jenna: then I can't go down on my gfs :// homophobia :// please just go fuck yourself ((not in a mean way)) ://

Jeremy has left the chat

Mikey has added Jeremy to the chat

Mikey: oh babe ur not going anywhere

Jeremy: Wow I’m Mysteriously Staying Right The Fuck Here Now, This Must Be Witchcraft

Mikey: no it’s just ur gay

Jeremy: no ur gay

Mikey: our gay

Jeremy: …yeah.

Mikey: yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyones dating everyone now im not sorry
> 
> i wrote this out of frustration w/ my love life bc i'm bad at understanding sarcasm/jokes & i have like between one and three partners & i don't even know bc i'm That bad at communicating holy shit :’/ rip me then lmao at least my boys get to be happy ‘-‘
> 
> will i update this regularly? no. will i spam chapters every few months? yeah.


End file.
